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I feel disgusted and guilty

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This might be the wrong forum but I need to be on anon. This is embarrassing.
I've been trying to give up porn and masturbation because I used to do that quite a lot. I managed to give up for a few months and during my giving up period I felt withdrawal symptoms. I was craving to go on porn and use that to facilitate my masturbation for so long. I was feeling restless, angry, moody. I was even feeling insomnia. I felt that I needed to masturbate to get to sleep. I controlled this by locking my phone and laptop in another room to prevent me from watching porn.
After around 3 months I couldn't take it any longer. I was alone in my room and a girl I find really attractive in Uni uploaded a picture of her self in a mini skirt. I couldn't resist it. I got an erection and then I started to masturbate. When I was doing it I was thinking I don't want to go all the way, but then after a few seconds it happened. I felt the biggest sensation I'd ever felt and so much came out. Probably five times more than normal. I had to clean my laptop afterwards.
Well now I feel really guilty about myself for giving in to myself. I failed my challenge and I was doing so well. Is there any escape from this? Ever since I gave in I've been doing it again once every couple of days. I feel like a drug addict that keeps giving in. I want an escape. I want that Nirvana.
I don't want anyone to respond telling me to masturbate because I get the choice whether I want to or not. I have personal reasons for why I want to give up completely and would prefer not to reveal them. The purpose of this thread is for anyone willing to give me help to help, not a debate whether masturbation is right or wrong. I don't care if other people are masturbating. Do it all you like as long as it doesn't affect me.
Sorry for this thread but I need to post it. I feel evil and depressed now by the way.

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