First off, thanks to everyone here for the support.
I wrote a few days ago about my husband not being able to trust me, not supporting me, etc.. He had told me that he was going to "make a list of my bad/inappropriate behaviors" so that I could change.
After posting this info. to the forum here and reading your responses, I was reassured that I was not necessarily the one with the problem. After waiting a couple of days to see the list that he felt he needed to make I told my husband that I DID NOT feel like I needed a list; as I received support/respect from my co-workers, friends, medical community for the kids' needs, my family, etc.. I told him that if he could live with me for 25+ years and NOT feel he could trust and support me that there was NOTHING I felt I could do to change that for him.
So, we went a couple of days of me basically ignoring him, doing what needed to be done around here and answering him in yes/no responses, NOT telling him any of my 'stories' about ANYTHING. I could tell he was feeling bad and honestly I started to think maybe he was re-thinking his words. WRONG................ Last night he told me that he was re-thinking "his list about my bad behaviors" and that he noticed that I was making efforts (I guess by NOT talking/sharing information) and that HE had forgiven me for my past lies and WE needed to just move forward...................WHAT????
I told him it was NOT that easy for him to simply say "sorry" when he figured out he was in the wrong. His words had cut deep into my heart and made me feel as though my entire marriage was a fraud. He then told me to 'grow up' and get over myself, quit playing the victim, etc..
Please give me some advice. I cannot simply keep my mouth shut forever in order to keep the peace in this home. My older child will be headed back to college in a few weeks and I am just hoping I can make it to that point before I break down. I am in a depression at the very least and just trying to get through the days.
Thanks.
I wrote a few days ago about my husband not being able to trust me, not supporting me, etc.. He had told me that he was going to "make a list of my bad/inappropriate behaviors" so that I could change.
After posting this info. to the forum here and reading your responses, I was reassured that I was not necessarily the one with the problem. After waiting a couple of days to see the list that he felt he needed to make I told my husband that I DID NOT feel like I needed a list; as I received support/respect from my co-workers, friends, medical community for the kids' needs, my family, etc.. I told him that if he could live with me for 25+ years and NOT feel he could trust and support me that there was NOTHING I felt I could do to change that for him.
So, we went a couple of days of me basically ignoring him, doing what needed to be done around here and answering him in yes/no responses, NOT telling him any of my 'stories' about ANYTHING. I could tell he was feeling bad and honestly I started to think maybe he was re-thinking his words. WRONG................ Last night he told me that he was re-thinking "his list about my bad behaviors" and that he noticed that I was making efforts (I guess by NOT talking/sharing information) and that HE had forgiven me for my past lies and WE needed to just move forward...................WHAT????
I told him it was NOT that easy for him to simply say "sorry" when he figured out he was in the wrong. His words had cut deep into my heart and made me feel as though my entire marriage was a fraud. He then told me to 'grow up' and get over myself, quit playing the victim, etc..
Please give me some advice. I cannot simply keep my mouth shut forever in order to keep the peace in this home. My older child will be headed back to college in a few weeks and I am just hoping I can make it to that point before I break down. I am in a depression at the very least and just trying to get through the days.
Thanks.
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