To cut a long story short, I believe I have feelings for my best friend, who is of the same gender as me, feelings of which I would preferably like to stop.
I'm an 18 year old guy, having recently left school. Two years ago, in the summer holidays, I had gotten feelings for this same friend for a month or so, around the same level I have them for him now. I, obviously, found it weird and kinda hard to deal with, as I'd just stopped having feelings for a girl after two and a half years. Eventually, these feelings subsided as a girl in my year began talking to me and we briefly went out before it crashed and burned between us within a month of it starting. Naively, I told this girl about my previous feelings for this guy, which she seemed, at least, to understand. A week later, I ended up telling my best friend himself about it, naturally shocking him slightly.
Eventually, I found out my ex girlfriend had told three of her friends and her new boyfriend I had had feelings for this guy. I feared naturally everyone would find out, so I told everyone I had lied about it, including my best friend himself, as he had been awkward around me ever since I had told him. The summer holidays of last year, this best friend began seeing someone, and these feelings briefly returned slightly, perhaps more out of jealousy than anything else, however they quickly faded again.
However, since I have left school, I believe these feelings have returned, as I find myself regularly thinking about him, as well as feeling the same as I did two years ago. I am in a temporary full time job, which I seriously considered not taking just as it meant I would see this friend less, whereas it didn't worry me as much that I wouldn't see many of my other friends as much.
I get this has been a long post, I guess I'm looking for advice, although the main reason
I put this here was just so I could say what was going on, as I don't really trust anyone that much around me. Chances are we may end up at the same university, as our offers are from the same two univerisites, so I would rather this didn't continue for four years.
And no, I don't consider myself homosexual, as this is the only guy I've ever 'liked', whereas I've had feelings for multiple girls in the past.
Put the internet to work for you.
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