Here's the situation- We've been married for 7 years, most of the marriage I've taken my wife for granted. I haven't been as affectionate as I should have been, didn't listen, didn't appreciate her, basically took her for granted in every way. Also, in the meantime I was inappropriate with other women (online or texting, nothing physical but now understand there is no difference). I am 16 years older than my wife and was her first serious relationship. She had been nothing but the perfect wife and that is no joke, she had been 100% faithful, loyal committed, supportive, understanding, caring, everything you can imagine in a marriage. Here's the kicker besides me being a butthead and not realizing what I had from the beginning. I was involved in some serious legal issues for the last 3+ years, ultimately I was able to prove my innocence for the most part but served 7 months in county jail. My wife was very supportive for the first 5 months (visiting twice a week and sending me inspirational letters weekly) then I felt a disconnect. Within 2 days of coming home because of her honesty she told me she reached out for support and attention and ultimately cheated on me (no sex) twice. She felt at this point she needed to find herself and see if she could find happiness elsewhere or she'd resent me if we powered through these tough times not knowing what could have been. She's very confused and I want to give her space If its the right thing to do. I finally got a clue being away from her for 220 days and I adore her immensely and hold her up on a pedestal with hopes of being able to make her happy once again and working through this. Also during this time I was extremely stressed due to the consequences, smoked pot daily all day to help cope and felt that these two things were directly related to the way I treated her. I am now drug free, clear headed, know what I have and stress free for the most part. She told me that she "loves me but doesn't know if she's in love with me" but also feels she may just is being selfish. She really is very honest and open. We are scheduled to start counseling but after spending the last 3 hours researching online I see that that may not be the answer but I am willing to try anything and so is she as long as there is progress. She wants to put her time and effort elsewhere if there is none. Any comments welcome PLEASE!!
Put the internet to work for you.
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