I know im not very good with girls, but I try. My friend says hes read this book called the player or something like that where if your cocky to women and give them backhanded compliments it actually can make you more attractive.
I decided to try this out on tinder, the dating app. I matched a girl i was attracted to so tried being kinda cocky, kinda rude, kinda funny, but it didnt seem to work so I want some advice.
Out of respect for this girl, wel just call her "Stacey", rather than her real name. and il call myself "Michael".
Me: Grrr Michaels hungry for you
Stacey: What a thing to say!
Me: Sorry, im a bit new to this, ive always wanted tinder but there was no wifi in the asylum lol
Stacey: im new to tinder aswell lol where do you live?
Stacey: are you just looking for sex?
Me: Stacey! what a thing to say! im a man of many passtimes, why would you ask such a thing?
Me: you have to buy me dinner and take me to a disco first
Stacey: haha just thought id ask...but il leave you now,it proves best if we dont talk
Stacey: errr noooo way
Me: why not? I would appreciate some feedback
Me: was it too obvious i just wanted sex?
Stacey: Well yeah
Stacey: You dont say to a girl..u need to take me out first
Me: that was just banter, id obviously pay im loaded. Im so loaded, once i stacked up all my money in 50p coins in the front garden and the neighbours said "oiii, your going to need planning permission for that"
Me: Youd like my neighbours, they have good banter aswell
Stacey: Money isnt everything!
Me: money isnt everything, but riding a limo through kensington with a glass of prosecco and a bucket of lobster handpicked from the indian ocean makes me realise, im a pretty lucky lad
Stacey: o really
Me: I just told rodger and sue (my neighbours) that i met a pretty girl named stacey
Stacey: u havent met me lol
Me: not yet but i can tell your rather eager and mike is not a guy who lets down pretty ladies
Me: which one are you in the picture, left or right?
Stacey: left
Me: im liking what i see but honestly its confusing having a picture of 2 people, have you considered annotating it with your name and an arrow?
Me: if you give me your email il do it for you now, although i suppose now weve found eachother you wont need tinder any more
Me: I wrote a poem about you
Me: Stacey, my precious Stacey, dont take her from me God, shes special, shes mine, my love, my possession, my obsession, my cure for depression, my lesson in romance, dance my children, the pyramids in the mist of Guernsey, the island cries, stacey reigns, DONT TAKE MY STACEY GOD
me: why arent you replying
Stacey: because i was asleep and now getting ready to go out
Stacey: you scared me abit
Me: what was it i did? sorry im told im a bit odd at times but i dont always get it
Stacey: sending me a poem and telling me you have lots of money x
Me: well you asked if i would pay for dinner so i suppose i thought my wealth was relevant, people think its easy being rich but sometimes you just want to walk down the street in peace and everyones likes oiii mike your really rich and fit and its kind of embarassing
Stacey: hahs
Me: who will you vote for in the next general election?
Me: Stacey, as you havent replied for the past 22 hours and 20 minutes im going to assume that ive lost your interest. ive been a bit upset if im honest but im a reasonable bloke, and therefore i recognise you cant help who you love. If you dont mind though, some feedback would be appreciated.
Me: For the following statements will youn please reply with "strongly agree", agree", "disagree", "strongly disagree", or "your wrong honey im yours"
Me: 1. My profile picture is not as attractive as it could be 2. i was a bit too keen 3. you didnt think you could handle such a player 4. the poetry wasnt an accurate reflection of our relationship. 5. Me asking who you would vote for in the general election made you worry that i was going to ask you to join a secret society or cult which may go against your morals. 6. I talk about how rich i am too much 7. i dont talk enough
Stacey: u cant love someone youve never met
Stacey: you just cant expect someone to be yours like that
Stacey: Just too odd
Me: okay but can you please complete the survey just so i can work on being better? if its easier for you put "a" for strongly agree, "b" for agree, "c" for disagree, "d" for strongly disagree. Then il leave you alone I promise
Stacey: 2
Me: The format i thought would be useful is for example 1.C 2.B 3.A 4.B etc
Stacey: This is odd
Stacey: you asking me this
Stacey: please leave me now, thanks
any advice on where i could improve next time? thanks
Put the internet to work for you.
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