I've discovered that a friend of mine is sending sexualised texts to my girlfriend. The friend in question is very close to me, almost like a father, having been a kind of mentor to me for the past 10 years. My girlfriend is also very close to him, both of us having known him and his wife longer than we've known each other (we share a similar circle of friends). Having known and trusted him for so long, finding out about this has surprised me.
The first time I noticed this kind of text was before my girlfriend and I were officially together and I was round her house. We were sitting together on her sofa and she had said to him that she was with me, and I saw his reply which said along the lines that he wanted to do the things I was getting to do. This shocked me at the time, but I shrugged it off as him making a joke. This was several months ago.
My girlfriend texts him more than we text each other, and she also spends more time with him than she spends with me. She has an emotional dependence on him (he is a counsellor and she has depression) and has done since before our relationship started. I'm not suspicious that there is any cheating going on as I know him well and I don't believe he would do that, however, there are these sexual texts which I feel cross a line.
I now live with my girlfriend and last night we were sitting together watching TV and she was showing me some texts to a friend of ours when a text from this person came up and it said, "You'll make me horny again xxx". Again, it shocked me. It wasn't a one-off anymore, it suggests it's typical of how they chat to each other - or at least of how he chats to her.
What I'm looking for from this thread is some advice on how I should approach this. Trusting that there's no actual cheating going on, I'm wondering if my disquiet comes from some form of insecurity, but even if so, it feels like my friend is being disrespectful to me by flirting in such an egregious way with my girlfriend. I'm not sure how to tackle it though - I don't know the full extent of it. All advice welcome.
TL;DR: Have seen a couple of overtly sexual/flirtacious texts come up on my girlfriend's phone while I'm with her sent from a mutual friend of ours. Not sure how to address it.
The first time I noticed this kind of text was before my girlfriend and I were officially together and I was round her house. We were sitting together on her sofa and she had said to him that she was with me, and I saw his reply which said along the lines that he wanted to do the things I was getting to do. This shocked me at the time, but I shrugged it off as him making a joke. This was several months ago.
My girlfriend texts him more than we text each other, and she also spends more time with him than she spends with me. She has an emotional dependence on him (he is a counsellor and she has depression) and has done since before our relationship started. I'm not suspicious that there is any cheating going on as I know him well and I don't believe he would do that, however, there are these sexual texts which I feel cross a line.
I now live with my girlfriend and last night we were sitting together watching TV and she was showing me some texts to a friend of ours when a text from this person came up and it said, "You'll make me horny again xxx". Again, it shocked me. It wasn't a one-off anymore, it suggests it's typical of how they chat to each other - or at least of how he chats to her.
What I'm looking for from this thread is some advice on how I should approach this. Trusting that there's no actual cheating going on, I'm wondering if my disquiet comes from some form of insecurity, but even if so, it feels like my friend is being disrespectful to me by flirting in such an egregious way with my girlfriend. I'm not sure how to tackle it though - I don't know the full extent of it. All advice welcome.
TL;DR: Have seen a couple of overtly sexual/flirtacious texts come up on my girlfriend's phone while I'm with her sent from a mutual friend of ours. Not sure how to address it.
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