Hi TSR, well where do I start?
I've been with my boyfriend for just over 9 months, we get on well, he's caring, and I really feel like I've found the person I want to spend my life with as far as his personality and looks go. He always tells me how much he loves me, and makes me feel special. The only problem in our relationship is just how much our sex drives differ!
He's been on and off antidepressants for some time, and I think these affect his libido quite a bit, however he doesn't like to tell me much about it and I think if he wasn't that interested in sex to begin with he wouldn't want to tell me out of fear of upsetting me.
I've got a very high sex drive, and for me once a day would be normal, if not more where possible! I accept that for a lot of people that's not the case, and once a week or once every other week would seem very little to me but if that was how it was going to be, that's how it was going to be. However, for us, it can be anywhere up to six weeks without.
I'll get upset and mention that we haven't in a while, so we might twice in the space of a week, but then nothing again for weeks.
He always gets very tired and stays up so late doing other things that we can't, or he says he's sorry but he isn't in the mood.
I used to give him blow jobs on a near daily basis, and he would do things for me in return, but full sex just wasn't happening. Now it seems that even that sort of thing has fizzled down to once a week or so and has been replaced for the most part by just snuggling up and going to sleep.
I feel like he's my soul mate but this problem with our libidos is really getting upsetting. He says he finds me attractive and sexy but I worry that he doesn't. It's really giving my confidence a knock.
I feel so guilty but I have been fantasising about other guys. I would never cheat on him or leave him over something like this - as I've said I love him very much - but sometimes I find myself so worked up I think about the guys that are around who would probably have sex with me if I asked them to and I wonder if they'd be more enthusiastic about it and more up for it.
It's putting a strain on my already quite small self confidence and I'm not sure what I can do about it? Every time I mention it he seems to force himself to do it once or twice then doesn't again for ages. If he's asexual or gray-a and simply doesn't want to, I'd really like him to tell me so I can stop feeling like I should be doing more to turn him on.
I've been with my boyfriend for just over 9 months, we get on well, he's caring, and I really feel like I've found the person I want to spend my life with as far as his personality and looks go. He always tells me how much he loves me, and makes me feel special. The only problem in our relationship is just how much our sex drives differ!
He's been on and off antidepressants for some time, and I think these affect his libido quite a bit, however he doesn't like to tell me much about it and I think if he wasn't that interested in sex to begin with he wouldn't want to tell me out of fear of upsetting me.
I've got a very high sex drive, and for me once a day would be normal, if not more where possible! I accept that for a lot of people that's not the case, and once a week or once every other week would seem very little to me but if that was how it was going to be, that's how it was going to be. However, for us, it can be anywhere up to six weeks without.
I'll get upset and mention that we haven't in a while, so we might twice in the space of a week, but then nothing again for weeks.
He always gets very tired and stays up so late doing other things that we can't, or he says he's sorry but he isn't in the mood.
I used to give him blow jobs on a near daily basis, and he would do things for me in return, but full sex just wasn't happening. Now it seems that even that sort of thing has fizzled down to once a week or so and has been replaced for the most part by just snuggling up and going to sleep.
I feel like he's my soul mate but this problem with our libidos is really getting upsetting. He says he finds me attractive and sexy but I worry that he doesn't. It's really giving my confidence a knock.
I feel so guilty but I have been fantasising about other guys. I would never cheat on him or leave him over something like this - as I've said I love him very much - but sometimes I find myself so worked up I think about the guys that are around who would probably have sex with me if I asked them to and I wonder if they'd be more enthusiastic about it and more up for it.
It's putting a strain on my already quite small self confidence and I'm not sure what I can do about it? Every time I mention it he seems to force himself to do it once or twice then doesn't again for ages. If he's asexual or gray-a and simply doesn't want to, I'd really like him to tell me so I can stop feeling like I should be doing more to turn him on.
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