Hello all,
I am new to the Life After Divorce section of TAM. After discovering my husband's serial infidelity in August 2012, I spent a lot of time on the CWI section of this site looking for guidance and hoping for reconciliation.
After a year of separation, I decided my ex would never change his ways (sex addict, porn addict, serial cheater) and filed for divorce. My marriage was a lonely place and I only stayed as long as I did for my 2 kids (D-14 , S 9). My divorce was final a few weeks ago.
While separated, I met a very nice divorced man at my church and we became friends, meeting for coffee and occasional dinners. I was not looking to meet anyone and had no intention of dating until my divorce was final, but we grew very close and I began developing feelings for him. After I filed for divorce, we began casually dating a few months ago. He is a wonderful man and I care about him very much, but I have not told my children about him yet. They are still working through their feelings from the divorce and I don't feel that I should add to their burden.
The problem is this: I don't feel like I'm being honest with my kids. I don't intend to live with this man or ask my children to spend time with him since I would only do that if I were 100% serious about someone. But my question is.... how soon is too soon to tell your kids that you're dating again?
Thanks very much for any feedback! I know there's no perfect answer and we're all doing the best we can in difficult situations.
I am new to the Life After Divorce section of TAM. After discovering my husband's serial infidelity in August 2012, I spent a lot of time on the CWI section of this site looking for guidance and hoping for reconciliation.
After a year of separation, I decided my ex would never change his ways (sex addict, porn addict, serial cheater) and filed for divorce. My marriage was a lonely place and I only stayed as long as I did for my 2 kids (D-14 , S 9). My divorce was final a few weeks ago.
While separated, I met a very nice divorced man at my church and we became friends, meeting for coffee and occasional dinners. I was not looking to meet anyone and had no intention of dating until my divorce was final, but we grew very close and I began developing feelings for him. After I filed for divorce, we began casually dating a few months ago. He is a wonderful man and I care about him very much, but I have not told my children about him yet. They are still working through their feelings from the divorce and I don't feel that I should add to their burden.
The problem is this: I don't feel like I'm being honest with my kids. I don't intend to live with this man or ask my children to spend time with him since I would only do that if I were 100% serious about someone. But my question is.... how soon is too soon to tell your kids that you're dating again?
Thanks very much for any feedback! I know there's no perfect answer and we're all doing the best we can in difficult situations.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment