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Sex/Ejaculation issues

Hi all. Im 27 as is my husband, been together 9 years. Our sex life is non existent. Might happen once a month tops and only if I initiate. Maybe lasts 20-30 min and very little foreplay if any. My husband has never been able to reach orgasm with me. Whether it be by vaginal, oral, or hand stimulation. He is able to if he masturbates in his own. I have no idea what to do. We've tried everything. I try to spice it up, we've used toys, porn, he's gone to therapy. Nothing works. His sex drive doesn't exist. He rarely masturbates (maybe once every couple months) and never has sex with me. We're both wired completely different. It's to the point though where I an constantly dreaming about sex with others. My desire for sex has taken a big hit as well, because what's the point? I'm jist at a loss. I love him, he's my best friend, he's everything to me, but things will never change, that I'm sure of. Any advice?
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