Privacy in the bedroom

Hello All, Pat and I have dated for almost a year. There has been some tough times, but a lot more of the great times. I have quietly bristled in the past about being introduced by her as a "friend." Her remaining"Single" and Interested in "Men" status on Facebook ( says she lost her password. I dealt with her not kissing me or even holding hands in front of her co-workers. I can deal with what seems to be a large number of men that she has dated in recent years. Maybe I'm too laid back but we now find ourelves in heated and painful debate, on the edge of walking away from each other and it is eating me up inside. When we first got together, she mentioned that her oldest son, who is mildly Autistic, had a bad night and slept in bed with her. This bothered me but I didn't say anything. Months went by and I got to know her son better. He even came along on a vacation with her and I. A few weeks ago, I was staying the night at her house. It's early morning darkness and things are starting to get interesting between us, she's nude and I'm not far behind, when her son walks in and gets into bed beside her. The following week, he did the same thing ,a week later, he's having another bad night on a night that I'm staying over and she brings him in to sleep on the floor of her bedroom. SHe asked if I wanted to talk with her, but I didn't know what I could say. We spent a long and sleepless night beside each other. The usual cuddling and affection were pretty much gone, and the next day I had a sinking feeling that there was real trouble in our relationship. I knew saying something would put me on a slippery slope, but dammit...I just couldn't hold it in! We are both very angry with each other and neither is budging an inch. She feels like I don't like her son and don't understand his Autism and special needs. Neither of those are true and I've been very understanding. Dating a woman with children can be tough. A child with special needs is a lot tougher yet, but I feel that even with Autism, he's in his early teens and that's too damned old to be in the bed, or bedroom with mom. She thinks I'm totally wrong and told me that all of her friends agree with her (which is not a surprise.)I feel like there should be some degree of privacy and sanctuary in the bedroom, but if I'm out of line in any way...guess some other opinions of those who are not on one side or the other, and objectivity would be welcome. I don't know what to do. My guts are in knots and I'm not really sleeping. I miss her badly (we've spent almost a week apart) bu t it seems every time we try to talk, it just leads to bitterness and anger.

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