Is there a label for this type of man?

So my friend tells me his wife is text-book passive aggresive. I'm not sure what that means so I read a few googled things but am still unclear. I come to TAM. I read th whole thread about men/husbands that are passive aggressive and I understand more clearly what it is. I'm assuming it applies to women as well. I start thinking about my own situation and wonder what type/category my own husband fals into. He wined and dined me until the day we married. THAT DAY -Our wedding day, it changed in an instant. He checked out that very day. We were married 21 years. We never took a vacation unless it was to visit family. He has never bought me a gift for any occasion. Not for my birthday or Mother's Day or anniversaries. None. Never celebrated an anniversary with me. I would try and plan something but he would find an excuse not to go or say let's put it off till next week but never follow through. Had sex maybe 20 times our whole marriage. Amazing we have two children. For the longest time, I thought he was gay but conflicted so I felt sorry for him and would try to talk about it but he would ignore me. He would let me ramble on and when I was finished, he would just stare at me and not say a word. Never wanted to do any home improvements. Said he would do a project like paint or clean the garage but never did/would. Said he would paint our bedroom 15 years ago. Never did. I have handled all home repairs. If I would hire someone, he would get angry and say, "I said I was going to do that". But I would wait for years. Our house would have fallen apart years ago if I had waited for him to do something. He NEVER puts anything away. He would leave things were they were when he was done with them. I have honestly never seen him put anything away unless I asked him repeatedly for weeks. Would never return anything to the store. Would just leave the item sitting in the shopping bag until I returned or it became too late to return so we have a bunch of useless stuff and wasted money. Checked out completely. If I asked a simple question, I would get ignored by him not responding at all. (This happened a lot) or turning up he television to drown me out. Causing me to say something nasty and sarcastic as long as kids were not around. Good with other people and an involved dad but I was always made to feel stupid. Irrisponsible with money so I handle all the money and bills. Never planned an event. Never taken a picture or thought to bring a camera on any occasion. Basically, I have been a single parent with a double paycheck. He never took an interest in me from the day we got married. Always seemed embarrassed of me but I'm not gross at all. Kept myself up..... When I say never to all these things, it means NEVER, not one time. Found out in 2009/2010 he had been cheating on me for eight years with various women. (His admission so Probably longer but I will never know). EVERYTIME I would try to discuss marial problems (before DDay), he would ignore me or say everything was fine. He is now my stbxh and I feel great. Bad for the kids but good for me. I waited a long time for peace in my life and have not loved my husband for a long time. Is there a personality trait to catorgorize this "checked-out" mentality or is he just an a$$hole? Some passive aggressive traits ar there but he has been particularly distant and cold the whole time. I still don't know anything about the man I married. It's so creepy. Thoughts?

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