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Pulling myself out of denial

18 years in a completely miserable marriage. I don't know how I'm still there. It's so dysfunctional and my children pay the price.

I've made excuses for him for years, but it always comes to the same conclusion. He's just a self-centered, immature, boy who throws fits of rage when things aren't going his way. My daughter has learned these same behaviors. That is the most unforgivable thing in all of it, but there is a very long list. Nobody has ever treated me so poorly in all my life. What the hell have I been doing all these years? I feel foolish and weak.

I recently went no contact with my 4 1/2 year EA (20 days now), but HE was NOT the toxic one in my life. I need to be NC with my angry, selifsh, ungrateful, hateful husband. He's hateful to his family (the kids and myself) behind closed doors, but such a fake to the outside world. I'd have been so much better off a single mom.

Someone on another forum set me straight. I think this site is sometimes too geared to keeping a marriage together. A marriage is only a marriage if there is love. Otherwise, what's the point? Some people should not be married because they have no intention of thinking of anyone but themselves.




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