Just left- struggling to make a final decision

I left. My husband and I have been struggling for a very long time- most of our 8 year relationship. A little background: He has 4 children prior to our 2. None of which he has seen in over 7 years. He hid the fact that he was still married- although they had been separated for a while. As well as the fact that he had all those kids. Each time I found out it hurt, but I stood by him and encouraged him to do the right thing. to date he has not done so. We have 2 girls together 6 and 2. He adopted my 12 year old son. He is basically very bad with money. He is impulsive to the point we are always behind. I believe he loves me. I believe he wants to change. I do not believe he is capable. Who am I to decide that? I feel pity for him because of his less than preferable upbringing and I don't want to be another person who said they loved him and left. (Both of his parents are selfish people) Now to me: I am depressed, physically ill (don't eat, etc) I have tried to forgive him for the lies, withholdings of truth, impulsive spending, false promises, etc. BUT I am just unable to do so. He has now offered counseling. Initially I thought I wanted to do it, I asked him if we could do it in the past and he didn't believe we had issues that required counseling... I know it's going to affect my children. Life is going to be just as hard financially but I feel like I will be able to truly be happy if I don't have him working against me when it comes to money decisions. What are the questions I should be asking myself????

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