casual relationship

Im stuck in a horrible, what feels very casual relationship and I hate it and tbh want out. It seems to me we're fine as friends and we have good chat and laugh, but maybe sexually we're actually incompatible because things don't seem great in that dept and when we've had sex i've not even enjoyed it. He cannot pleasure me properly either, yet expects me to pleasure him extremely well till my hand hurts. But something does make me feel there is 'something' between us, or I would not be in the position of pleasuring him anyway? I've realised a few things though -I don't love him and have just been trying to convince myself I do, even tho we do have very little in common -I really don't think he loves me(but I don't know?:S) because he only said ilove you on a drunk text. On one occasion. After we'd had sex (well not directly after but it was clearly correlated). He never actually asked me out when we started dating or hooking up (im really unsure how to term what we've been doing but it seems it's all on his terms and it has to involve alcohol and us going to the pub (tho not always, sometimes hang at his flat) but still it's always a night meetup where we drink and then sometimes have sex basically. I thought he'd surely say 'do you want to be my gf?' but he did not. So he was misleading about he wanted and I did not specify either. Seems we've both fallen into this trap of just 'meeting up'. The problem is, his job makes it impossible for us to do something in the day, so this may not be how it seems. :S Also he's only really said that he 'likes' or 'really likes' me, he has not said he loves me so he prob does not? It can't seem to move past 'like' for us. But some things do suggest he saw/sees me as a gf material? He will buy me my drinks, food etc. He even gave me money when I could not afford some stuff and it did not seem it had been lent. He used to buy me lots of gifts and I'd buy him gifts. Some things he's said makes me think he doesn't see himself/this as a 'casual' person because he's dissed people who are casual and he would not if he thought of our situation?He does not seem to want me getting with other guys, he stopped me meeting one once even tho I said I would not have sex with him, but sex was what this guy was trying it on for. He makes comments like 'Let me get them out of the way!' if i mention other guys being into me. If he was feelin casual he'd not? Totally confusing. There is just no communication about important stuff and I feel he tries to avoid certain things. He won't talk to me, says he finds talking about feelings hard and he's trying to be better. This is not 'going anywhere', tho? He has never told me about ex gfs(but he told some other person who asked him who was just some random an this very much upset me because thought of all people hed tell me), but I did sense the idea he was very upset with them at how they'd treated him but no more. If I admitted I had no 'feelings' for him, he'd probably hate me? There may be no chance of being friends, but literally be just friends may be better for us? There was a point I was more sure he may have wanted a relationship but when I started acting like I wanted that too he sort of seemed to not be anymore. I want a man who is intuitive and caring and very understanding and supportive of my issue(he supportive,but not of my issues and does not understand well) and doesn't act like the woman in the relationship and is dominant (in the bedroom too) like me, and is not 'cute' (this guy very cute) and does not seem to act as if he wants me to mother him or look after him somehow, or be all caring towards him with very little in return. Really the worse I feel about this situation because weve not chatted or been honest with each other and seems hes incapable makes me feel i should just give up. I know it's **** that i dont love him but Im sure if he just acted caring i would love him because sometimes i feel like i do but, he just...doesnt seem to care about me :( truth is if he wont talk i cant know anything, he acts so 'simple' about it all like he doesnt care. he needs to have an opinion about us too or is he just satisfied? aaargh help pls anyone?

Put the internet to work for you. via Personal Recipe 2629979