An Update to “A Tale of Infidelity”

Initial post was approximately 10 months ago, since this time I"ve learned that a few details of my original post are false. My WS hadn't and still has not come clean about the, details of the A but rather was more interested in what I knew so she could counter. Here's the back story: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-...nfidelity.html We've been to MC, which was a bust; in my mind we should have explored various details of what lead to the affair. He was more concerned with exploring other issues in our relationship and eventually attacking me. Going was not on the top of my WS's list, I was the driving force behind setting up the MC. After about 8 sessions we made the decision to stop going. About two months after D day I found my WS had not severed ties with the OM, they were still emailing and seeing one another. I finally got in contact with the OMW and turned over everything I had to her. Now with the OMW involved things got a little heated, she found out my WS work number and told her off. I recently found a detail that I figured was important because it proved that my WS wasn't forth coming with all the details as I had asked. In the event to draw the final line in the sand I confronted her with my discovery. As a result she told me she had emailed the OM from her work account, here's the exchange: - From WS to OM, testing the waters I think… Hi how have you been? - Response from OM to WS with OMW BCC'd. Note the initial response, leads me to believe they've never stopped emailing one another: Like I said in my email, I'm not doing that entirely great. My life is in shambles because of everything we've done. My marriage is ruined and not sure if it's going to be repaired. But I have to fight to keep it alive. I don't feel that it's right that we communicate anymore as we both have work to do in our marriages and need to focus as such. You have to realize that we've both done a LOT of damage and I'm sure that you do. Over that past couple of months I've done a lot of soul-searching and I have realized where I've gone wrong. So my focus is now on my marriage and family and not to allow any outside influences to get in the way. I love my wife. Now more than ever I think. Although I appreciate your concern in my well being, just know that I'm working to make the bond between my wife and my family stronger. So please for the sake of both of our well being, do not contact me anymore by email or phone. Take good care of yourself and your family as I will do the same. - OMW now aware of the exchange chimes in directly to my WS: Being that he has told you how he is doing, do us all a favor and focus on YOUR HUSBAND! The four of us know how he is doing. You have nothing more to inquire about. WTF, just let it go! I asked you before how can you go on with your life loving someone else. Obviously, you can't. It is so hard physically being in one place and your heart somewhere else. I am so sorry for you. Frankly, I am sorry for us all. I forgive you and I just pray that you find it in yourself to let my husband go and that God does what is necessary to help our marriages. Emotionally affairs are the worse to release yourself from. The heart will go on, however. This affair is not worth all of us losing our families and/or our lives. Should all of us divorce, the chances of you and my husband getting in a serious relationship is slim to none, really. The sex ran its course, he got what he wanted and if we divorce, it will be on to something new not something he had. My husband is not a person who runs stuff backwards. Sorry. You were worth your weight in Platinum to him saving yourself than giving him sex as a married woman. That would have given him something to desire. Maybe he would have left me for you he does that all the time. Leave one woman for another one because you guys have known each other for a long time, so IDK. Now Basically--Mission Accomplished! This is stuff I tell my daughter. SMH. Nevertheless, take care and I pray for you and your husband. He seems like a really cool guy who really loves you and what to be their with his son. Focus on that and not the well-being MY HUSBAND! - My WS takes offense and decides to respond: You know what I went back and forth if I should even respond to your email then I said WTH why not. I am really not trying to go back and forth with you on this issue however you and YOUR HUSBAND read all into my "HOW HAVE YOU BEEN" email. Believed it or not I am in no shape or form longing for your husband... my husband and I are still weathering this nasty storm together but there is no one else I would rather be in this boat with. I was simply hoping you guys were doing the same nothing more nothing less so please don't feel sorry for me.... it's not needed. In response to the other not so nice things your said about me I'm not even going to address it regardless of how true or not true they are because I know you are pissed/hurt and you have a right to be. Again I didn't want to go back and forth I really wanted to keep this short and let you know you don't have anything to worry about if you were worried. I wish you and your family the best of luck. But you are right about my husband being a cool guy and a great father it take a strong man to endure something like this. Ok, TAM what gives?! To me this is a slap in the face from both the OM and OMW. I've asked my WS how was it she found justification to get upset and respond to the OMW? YOU SLEPT WITH HER HUSBAND, HELLO!!! The most you should have said was, I'm sorry to have cause you any grief and I will no longer be contacting your husband. Instead she tells me that this is not him, not the way he talks. He was only talking like this because she was cc'd in the email. Sounds like pride to me, and pride comes before a fall. Two days after reading this I drew the line in the sand. Specifically I told her I hope you got it all out of your system, this is it! You mess up again and I'm out. Now she wants counseling, not because of this but rather because we don't see eye-to-eye on various non-related issues regarding our marriage and parenting. I told her if you want to see a MC you set it up, I did it the last time when it should have been you. She's slated to deploy in a couple months, not sure if that's enough time to put a dent in our laundry list of issues but I'm willing to try. My biggest thing is for her to be upfront and honest about what happened while I was away. I don't want part of the story, I want it all with the exception of the specific details. She admitted the only reason I got the email was because of the potential of the OMW sending it to me. I've told her time and time again for us to move on I need you to be totally honest and transparent.

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