What happens when there's nothing there?

Alright guys, I'll put this one out there for you. Been with my wife for 18 years, married 16. Got together when I was 19 and she was 25. 2 kids. Used to have a lot of romance, a lot of spark, a lot of sex. Now, nothing. I had an affair 10-11 years ago, we went through counseling and worked very hard to put our marriage back on track. Since then I have been very guilty of falling into the Beta role in our relationship. Didn't realize this until I started reading on this forum and started looking at the MMSL forum (ordered the book). But for the most part, I have been her ***** for the last 7-8 years. I work 50% more hours than she does, my average week is 60+, plus working on my own business on the side. I still do 90% of the laundry, most of the cooking, most of the shopping, and probably 60% of the housework, with my kids making up a lot of the difference. And I have learned that if I bring any of those points up, I'm going to induce an argument and I'm going to lose. As I said, I'm her *****. So there are a couple issues with this. First off, we pretty much don't have sex anymore. Maybe 2X a month, and then its a 3-4 minute quickie in the morning, IF she is in the mood. Haven't had foreplay or anything else for a LONG time. The other problem, I don't really find her very attractive right now. She was chubby when I met her, but had the curves where I wanted them, nice hips, big rack, etc etc. Now she's just plain fat. And its hard to get excited when all she does is sit at the computer doing whatever it is she does, smoking, and farting. I quit smoking a year ago, am dropping weight, and hitting the gym pretty regularly, trying to get back to where I was years ago, simply for my own happiness. I love my wife, but I'm getting to the point that I'm not sure I want to stay married. I'm going with the MMSL to see if I can do any rebuilding, but have set myself sort of a time limit to see if any changes occur or not. What would any of you do in this situation? Oh, and since I don't really have any friends anymore, since she doesn't like to socialize, that's why I'm asking all of you.

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