Wanting closure

I'll try and keep this short. Me n my ex went out for about two years Hes moved abroad, but he's returning in a few months. We were madly in love, families weren't too happy. Broke up, sort of got the go ahead but he was still apparently heartbroken from the break up. He's messaged and said he'd like to be friends, I said no as Im not over him to be able to do that. So, I would like to send him one last message just for closure, as its still left open How does this sound; I loved u, I always have and probably in some ways always will. I could and would have married you, we were so close to so many times, and now we've been granted permission you don't take it. I don't understand why. I thought it was simple as we love one another, but you can't see past the fact I made one mistake. You made them too, more than once but I always took you back with open arms. You couldn't grant me the same. I wanted to be a part of your everything, I wanted you to be part of my everything, I wanted to make you happy, complete, secure, to see your love for me in your eyes forever, show you just how important you are to me. This is how I know that although you're everything I want its a blessing i disguise, I guess we aren't right for one another.I need to leave you alone, give you space, allow you to accomplish all that I know you shall, I know I cannot be a part of it. and yes, last we spoke you said we should be friends and stay in touch, but I'm sorry that cannot be. As I said I can pretend to be, but it hurts so that you must be over me then. Some days I look at you and feel so empowered and fulfilled, and scared at just how much I would do for you and the things you did for me and the places you showed me and other days I would look at you and feel sick that I let you in after how you've treated me. I told you I did not expect a certain response but honestly it hurt that you never took the chance. I hear someone mention your name, or a friend will ask about you, or mum will ask how you are and I feel like I'm dying inside, god it hurts so bad. Or something will happen that I'd like to tell you and remember I can't, you've gone. I wish you were here and I miss you, but I'm okay, mostly I have good days. Maybe when you return in a few months we'll see how things are... Anyways, take care and I truly wish you all the best. Be happy my baby. I'm sorry for everything ... X To some extent I still want him back, but I speak in past tense as Im just really hurt and upset. I've tried to convey that yes, what we had was amazing but, he wasn't perfect (neither was I) and he could have tried more and easily have saved it all. But I'm not sure if I should remove some parts, and play it cool and not let him know just how bad I'm aching? And if I sound regretful and bi***y ? And if I should rid of the part where theres still a chance when he returns? Maybe I should scrap the entire message and take some inspiration from lyrics/quotes/threads lol Posted from TSR Mobile

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