Lost on what to do next.

Here is my situation. My wife and I started dating our freshmen year of college and have been together ever sense. We have married almost 9 years. I have had depression issues which have lingered through most our marriage. About a month ago my wife said she needed to talk and said she did not know if she could do it anymore. 2 days later she wanted time apart. I spent about a week at my parents. She would not answer any texts or phone calls. I was going nuts. One night I decided I could not take it anymore and drove down back home and told her I had to talk and she said that she was willing to go on a date night, the following day. She would stay at her moms in town while I could come back and live at home. Our date night went great and we had a lot of fun. We decided to meet again on Wed for dinner at the house. The dinner went good also. After this dinner I did not hear from her for two days and was freaking out. I was sending her texts and text s and no response. Out of the blue that Friday she showed up with little emotion at all and said she wanted a divorce, we talked for like 30 minutes and I was not for it I could not understand why she would no longer go to our first marriage counseling session. To speed stuff up I was so miserable I had to go back to my parents. I did the same texting and calling but no answer. I poured my heart out to her. What had and has happened is that by my wife for the first time actually showing me I was not pulling my weight in many departments and talking about divorce, it caused my eyes to really open up and see how my priorities where not in place and how I was letting my depression always keep me down and being in that mood of course led to her thinking that my lack of talk, affection, energy, and so much more was because of her. I have let myself dig far into a hole and all this was like a slap in the face which made things clear. She eventually has agreed to Marriage Counsolin g We do this once a week. She still will not see me any other time or talk on the phone. She will answer some texts but for a long time I was overdoing it, she said she could not answer because she did not know what to say. Our goals in marriage counseling right now are not the same. Mine is to fix myself with new doctors and my new way of thinking with the main goal of saving our marriage. She says she does not know, she does not know if it is too late if she can trust that I wont be back to my old self a year from now. I cannot explain to her how my eyes are open like never before. I don't think she understands how hard, the worst pain of my life I feel right now not being able to see or talk to her. The thoughts that go through my mind. I just need advice

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