Too young to be so lonely

Im in my early 30's, married to my DH for 6 years (together for 12) We've been through a lot, more than most couples our age should have to go through, and I love him very much. He's an amazing father to our children, and I find him very attractive, but we never ever have sex. Like if I bring it up and we get in a big fight maybe we will here or there for a few days after that fight but if I'm not pushing for it it won't ever happen. We've gone 6 months to a year before. Now it's awkward between us. We don't even kiss and if we did it would feel so strange. Any time we do have sex it's me making the first move and even then, 9 times out of 10, I am rejected. I have cried so, so many tears over this. It's making me feel awful about myself. I was always so confident, so outgoing. I am losing that side of me. When I bring it up to my husband about our lack of sex life he gives me all different reasons why it is my fault given whatever is going on at that particular moment (well youre still breastfeeding so I don't want to touch your boobs since they hurt, or the kids make me tired, or why would I want to when you're so *****y, you're too OCD about the house) or whatever. I've heard dozens of reasons for the last 10 years about why he doesn't ever think to touch me. Before our marriage I had a few serious relationships that were quite sexual and I find myself fantasizing about other men, exes, etc. because I am just not getting what I need at home. It is so demoralizing, humiliating you name it to be a young 30's woman whose husband won't touch her without being forced into it via a fight. I love my husband very much. I don't want to give up on my marriage. But I am looking down the line at fifty more years together and I can't go through my whole life feeling rejected. Can this be fixed?

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