my dday

So, I had dday today. Still reeling from it. I imagine it will take years to fully recover, but hopefully I can find some normalcy in a few weeks. It did not go as planned, but it at least went in the right direction. Had I not found this website, I would have caved and groveled and begged her back. Let's just say it went 75% as planned. A bit too much emotion on my part, but hey -- I F-ing love her. She fully admitted to the A. She was incredibly remorseful. Broke down with deep and hard sobbing. She is out of the house and in a hotel until we can both cool down and process how we got here. I am moving forward with paperwork for the D. I told her I am open-minded. I obviously don't want a D, but I feel that to repair our marriage would be a herculean task and neither of us are in the right headspace for that undertaking at the moment. If we R, I laid down my ground rules, #1 being a NC call to the OM and #2 a call to her family explaining what she did. If we end up D, I don't really care if her family knows or she cuts off things with OM. I am not interested in helping her if we go down the D route. I am just interested in moving on. I also realize that I sound confused. Obviously a lot for me to process. I suspect it will be another late night of thinking / reading etc. Just want to say thanks for everyone here for sharing their stories and providing me the strength to do what I did this AM. I am one of the most non-confrontational people I know. My dday talk this AM scared the sh!t out of WW. I know many of you will tell me it is just an act, but I know her very well. She is reeling. In a random room across town. Looking at the pieces of her life.

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