Not getting what I need after addressing issue

I'm new to the site, and I joined to ask advice from people outside of my situation. My husband and I have been together for four years, married for a year and a half, been friends since we were kids. He hasn't worked since we started dating. We married young, and are still young, but I feel like I've been waiting on him to grow up to start my life. I put grad school on hold, I've been working at least full time the whole marriage, and I've been growing and changing. I want children, and my husband wants to wait until we have a house and are stable to have kids, but he won't work to support the family to enable us to have things like a house. I pay for literally everything, and I've got to the point where I don't even ask for things anymore because I know he doesn't have the means to give them to me. He doesn't even take care of the house while I'm at work or attempt to better himself. Two weeks ago I wrote all this down in a letter, explaining that I'm not getting what I need and I need a strong man who would not put the stress of supporting the whole family on me and who would step up and take care of himself so I could take chances, like going back to grad school, and for us to still survive, and that if he couldn't be that man, I had to take care of myself and leave, because I couldn't be his mother instead of his wife. I told him that I don't want him to find work to make me happy, but that I wanted him to have ambition and consideration enough to take care of his family with hard work. He said he was sorry for stressing me out (although he also stated that the messy house was making him depressed, so I've been working on cleaning when I get home from work), and he looked for work the next day, but that was the only day he looked at all in two weeks. And a week ago, he got angry very quickly while discussing grad school options and before I knew it, he had shoved me and was fuming. I told him that he could never lay his hands on me in anger again, and I was dead serious, but he hasn't progressed any further since. I've tried to get him help for his anger but he won't put forth the effort, and he's still not showing any ambition to begin to take care of himself even though I made it clear that I wasn't going to neglect myself any further by taking care of him constantly at my emotional expense. I'm stuck wondering what to do. Does he need more time? Should I readdress the issue? Should I give him a deadline? I'm very frustrated right now because nothing's changed, but I don't want to make a hasty decision. Help?

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