Sister in Law Verbally Abusive

For the last 15 years I have been insulted and watched my husband get in terrible moods because his family used to call and tell him off and make him feel guilty because i am close to my family and my husband is close to my family as well. My husband's family has never been close. His sister moved out at a young age. Her philosophy is that she will give respect when you earn it by giving her respect even with her parents. His mother clung to DH, resented me when we started dating. 14 years of this causing arguments between DH and I when we have plans with my family, we used to always cancel on my family functions in favour of his families last minute get together because I knew my husband was hurting. About 2 years ago my husband and I almost divorced because of the arguments his parents caused, and we finally told his parents NO MORE!. His sister is very manipulative and is used to causing fights between her parents by twisting things her and her mother argued about to put guilt on her father to tell her mother off in her defense, and she is used to her brother always bending over backwards to make her happy too, but he has stopped that as well so she says nasty things when she feels like it and then expects people to get over it. We always do move on without appologies. The last straw was recently when SIL and DH got in an argument because she wanted us to babysit for her to hang out with friends, but we already had plans and a sitter for our own kids, so we said no. She got upset, posted something about him on FB and the next day called him and as soon as he picked up the phone she starts telling him he is useless, no job, no education, no balls, no value for his family (her kid) no backbone to stand up to his wife who keeps him away from his family, and on and on.. ( i changed our kids bday party times to suit her schedule otherwise she wont come, and they walk in an hour late every time, We drove over an h our to meet them somewhere by her house to spend the day, his sister showed up half an hour after us, stayed 20 mins and left without even telling us! and the list goes on and on) I need advice on how to handle this. IF my husband decides he can move on yet again just to make his parents happy, I know that I won't this time. I am fed up with the things that they say about me, and him. The verbal abuse. I am worried about my marriage. We have a decent relationship with his parents now, they know not to say the things they used to. But this last episode with his sister was so far over the top that I have made the decision that I do not want her in my life. She is toxic. I don't want to be around someone like that. She has told me through texting she wants nothing to do with me, or her brother while he is with me. These last daggers she threw did the job and killed the relationship with her, she got her wish, i wont have anything to do with her. I know that she thinks when her baby is born everything will be forgotten and we will go crawling to her and tell her we were wrong not to cancel our rare date night to look after her kid so she could hang out with her friends while her husband went to hockey. Am I justified to break ties or do I need to continually go through this just because it is his family?? I'm tired of being his families punching bag for no reason.

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