Can't be a good sign

Okay, so I finally got my husband to go to marriage counseling with me. I was very frustrated for most of the session, as he seemed to be using it has a personal therapy session (which I have been trying unsuccessfully to get him to do for months), and not focusing on our relationship, at all. That's when I took notice of my own posture. I was turned in my seat away from him. That's when I really started to think it was too late. He has made a half-hearted effort, but says he doesn't know what to do. I have told him for nearly a year, that I need physical contact. Due to his condition, we don't have intercourse, but that shouldn't have prevented hand-holding, touching, kissing. There has been none of that for far too long. I have craved it, asked for it, and not received it. Now, I'm no longer sure that I want it from him. No, I don't have my eye on anyone else. He has become a friend, though, and that's all. Last night, as I was changing for bed, I realized that I was uncomfortable with the thought of him seeing me naked. How long has it been since he's seen me that way? I don't even remember. I don't dislike him. I care for him as a person, and as a friend. I'm taking out a personal loan in my name only to pay for some upcoming surgeries for him. I just wonder if this will be his "going away" present. I don't even feel like a woman around him anymore. Just a pal. We have another appointment with the counselor in two weeks, as we'll be out of town all week next week for his surgeries. I'm going to try the exercises that the therapist gave us, because I don't want our son to be hurt. I just feel so lost. Any guidance or suggestions? We're going to be sequestered in a hotel room together for a week, thought I don't predict much intimacy, due to the procedures he's going to go through. :confused:

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