Pushing on

Hey guys, I had a few days with my head under the water so to speak since the V-day BDSM safeword incident, and my wife is just as stubborn as me when it comes to being non-compromising especially now, we're both backed to corners but still fighting. Backstory: Wife and I have seperated due to issues with her sexual demands and my behaviour in response, we were on the road to reconciliation until V-day, when she ignored safewords during a BDSM trial and brought back memories of a rather traumatic past experience (by the same woman). I decided not to accept half-assed apologies when it comes to ignoring safewords, not to mention the incident has made me realise that demon of hers is still really there. At the same time she is blameshifting and neglecting the error of her ways attempting to justify the whole incident. After constant fighting we've both had enough, and I told her I can't deal with her anymore and nor she. She's lost the will to fight for our marriage and so have I, we're both too stubborn. My head has been under the water for some time and I contemplated anti-depressants but I've recently resurfaced and caught my breath. There's no longer any obligation for either of us to stay together, we're free to move on. Although it pains me to think of her with another man and having him in my daughter's life as well, I can not fold. She needs a yes man, a horny one at that. Anyways I'm doing better, I can do this Just another mountain to climb, at least I'll have some scars to show at the end eh? Maybe I won't recover from this, I've lost all desire for sharing my future with someone else, the only way I'm coping is focusing on myself, my dreams, my aspirations. For a while I lost all motivation to do anything, even wanted to hire a GM to take over management of my business due to my lame performance recently resulting in my staff having lack of hours this month, contemplated suicidal thoughts... But I'm over it. If anything, I'm motivated enough to see this through simply for the sake of seeing it through and proving to myself that I can do it, that's enough to live for, I've convinced myself of that. I have to be determined. Anyways, I don't know what else I can get from this forum, I may not be posting much anymore, but I would like to express my sincere thanks in supporting me over the last 2 years even if my marriage has reached its last dead end.

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