If This Were You... (Opinions, Please)

Against my better judgment (lol), I just wanted to pose a few questions to the ladies... If you recently found out that your husband had been talking to a woman at work - one he never mentioned to you, even though he'd speak daily of his interactions with male co-workers, would that send up a red-flag? How about if he gets highly defensive and hostile when you ask questions about "the other woman"? What would you think if he said he didn't want to share any information because he "doesn't know what your intentions are/what you're capable of". What if he said your questions are "stupid" (like what do you talk about? What does she look like? How often do you talk to her? Kind of questions)... What if he accused you of being "paranoid and suspicious" asking "dumb" questions, saying you are "weird" and "need help" because you were curious. I told my hubby that it's normal and natural for a woman to respond to red-flags by asking for more information and accessing the "threat", especially considering that he has known this girl for the last couple of years and has never once mentioned her. Even though he talks about his male co-workers quite frequently... Is it out of line to think he is keeping this person a "secret" for a reason? If there was "nothing" to hide, then why omit it? What if he accidentally called your DAUGHTER by this other woman's name? How would you feel? My husband is completely dismissive and not understanding or empathetic AT ALL regarding this particular situation. He feels I am "out of line" for limiting his "friendships". He's even used the excuse of "overcoming" his "social anxiety" to talk to others... And yet when we went to a mutual friend's house a few nights ago, he made no effort to converse or socialize. And these are people he's known for years. He also has no trouble socializing with the men at his work. Once, when going through a "Social Anxiety" checklist, he dismissed all of the symptoms, stating that the only thing that would make him uncomfortable is "asking someone for a date". Imagine he told you, his spouse, THAT. And weeks later you find out about this girl... Would you be cool about it? What if he refused to talk about it, labeling you as "crazy" or "insane" instead? Should I just shut up? Would you? The fact that he is so defensive and hostile makes me feel very insecure. And he has no problems telling me how "insecure" and "pathetic" I sound. This hurts my feelings and I'm really doubtful that this is innocent... I think of all the times he's worked late, come home late, etc... And I wonder... But many of you know my history... I want to ask what YOU would think in this situation... Thanks for your honest input! :) Posted via Mobile Device

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