Not even sure why I'm care about it...

I've posted my story here since the fall - it really goes back a number of years. Recently have been posting and obsessing about another OM in my stbxw's life. Why I care, is beyond me - but I do. Anyway, I had aired on this forum my suspicions about POSOM2 and have to post that I was wrong - it appears that he was good to his word and had distanced himself. I think my stbxw is still friends with him and fogged about him and I know she holds a fantasy for a long time but she has moved on..... back to POSOM1, it seems. Even this, I can't confirm 100% (in terms of who it is) - what I can confirm is that whoever she is seeing, it is physical and involves all sorts of fetish like training - almost like a "50 shades of Grey" scenario. My stbxw is 48. Even though we're already separated and it should be none of my business, it was devastating to learn this. Now I know for sure that she is completely broken and there's nothing I can do about it. Not even sure that it qualifies as "infidelity" as we've been legally separated now for 4.5 months. And I'm not proud of the way I've obsessed about this either vs just moving on completely. Sort of angry at myself for even caring about this, since it's obvious that my stbxw has a serious problem which is out of my hands. But feel like I've been partly destroyed by her actions so can't help feeling a need for redemption. Saw my IC yesterday and she's worried that I'm entering a type of depression - she wants me to see my doctor about possible medications. She could be right. In the past week or so, I just can't seem to get out of this rut and have all these intrusive thoughts about my stbxw and the POSOM. She suggested I track how much I think about this and gave suggesting on breaking the cycle. Problem is, it's 24/7 - it's easier to track when I'm NOT thinking about this. Anyway, the last thing I want to become is some depressed, obsessed, angry, stalker like stbxw - or maybe I've already become this - so need to break out of it. Any suggestions on breaking this cycle and moving on would be appreciated. I'm surrounded by triggers and have to deal with my stbxw regularly because of the kids. I know if I was reading this I would be suggesting the usual: exercise, get out, get IC. I've been doing all of this and was what I thought was about 85% healed. But the past week and a half has been a complete setback - worse than when I learned about the 2009 PA with POSOM1, last Oct. Little hesitant about getting a prescription for anything as I've read some of the stories here about the effects of some of them. Thanks! (ETA - Man.... can't even get the subject title correct....)

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