Financial security in marriage - what is fair?

Hello, I could use some advice.....I have been with my husband for 8 years, married 4 now. We did great until marriage when I slowly came to see his moody side (like depressive). This last year he has done much better, we were doing fine so far. My husband has money, I had some but nowhere near his. He kept the bulk of his money under his name, which was ok with me. We matched money in a joint account and he offered an agreement should we divorce (in writing but no lawyer so basically verbal I guess). He said a certain percentage of it would become "ours" each year. I trusted him. We live simply, I have always worked hard and we both grew up poor so it suits us just fine. Our joint account is slowly diminishing and I asked him what/when we should transfer more money..(also because we talked about a real estate investment in our next transfer). Simply put, he said it was his money and he would decide end of discussion. So we had a huge fight. He keeps telling me he has always taken care of us and will continue to do so but with no specifics. I am simply taken aback now at his sudden controlling attitude. I told him given this I will not allow our joint account to drop below a certain level. I don't want to be paranoid but this just scares me. We are ok right now as he says but ........?????? Am I overreacting? lastly, I do the bills, he isn't controlling on what I do, who I see, no jealousy, and he believes I "pull my weight" so to speak. I feel terribly confused right now. Thank you for listening and any advice. Suddenly uneasywife

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