Dissatisfied

I posted this in the men's section and got no reply, so maybe I will here. There is a saying "its in his kiss". Well in the lovemaking dept.there is none, no kiss. What used to be a fiery, passionate sexual relationship has been reduced to him asking me to give him a HJ, or a BJ, of which I sometimes give in to, but I am feeling like "is this what it's come down to?" It doesn't feel good...almost feels cheap...based on lust, not love. I am missing the intimacy and romance. Kissing to me is the biggest turn on, and he doesn't seem to want to. Lovemaking can be so beautiful but I don't know what it's even like anymore. Should I just refuse to have contact and talk to him about why? Does this mean the marriage has lost it's flame? We have a relationship that is calm and sharing of ideas, working together to put our daughter through college, etc. I am feeling like it's a marriage of convenience...or is this normal when couples get older? I tend to think not..that it doesn't have to be this way. We have been together 30+ years...been thru hell an back together. He has strayed, I have not. I think if I deny him sex, maybe he'll think about it...but I don't believe passion is something one can force. I do know sex for me, and maybe for many women is about the dance and the excitement, and about the tenderness...not about "servicing" him...which is what I feel like it is.

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