Hello Everyone,
This is a great site, very helpful information.
I would love some advice. Married for 8 years, a blended family,, we have one high schooler at home. For years, it's been a conflict that my husband will take phone calls during the family dinner. Or, we'll be very very close to finishing dinner and he'll excuse himself to make a call (to his brother, nephew, exc.)
Unfortunately, his brother died 3 months ago :-( My sister in law "Trudy" is having a hard time. We often get phone calls from Trudy's daughter saying "Trudy is very upset, wishes she had died with her husband, but won't go to a counselor/grief support" Everyone offers to go see Trudy, dine with her, exc. but she of course is still grieving.
Tonight husband's cell phone rang 3 times in a row during dinner, so he hopped up to answer. (in middle of meal) It was Trudy's daughter saying Trudy is upset again/Trudy had bad day.-- Trudy's daughter wanted to vent -- that is fine with me, but why couldn't DH finish dinner THEN return the call?
---Husband missed all of dinner, then threw his food away saying lost his appetite. **My point - of course we all love our families, but I have asked husband over and over "can we have a 10 min. dinner with our teenager (family time) and not take phone calls"
Tonight he said he stayed on phone long time during dinner as it was "Family crisis" w/Trudy. ..I said am tired of family dinner being interrupted, I want a short family dinner, he said that I am being selfish as it was a 'crisis" and I'm "thinking of myself" I said well can you go visit Trudy tomorrow/offer to help her find grief support, exc. - He said no, that she'll refuse. So why is it a "Crisis" and my dh let the phone call ruin his dinner/ruin his mood/make me and son wonder "What's going on on the phone, is someone ill?" I feel there should be boundaries. PS Trudy's deceased husband was unhappy with her, said she was a hypochondriac, exc, I don't mean that in cruel way, I mean does my DH really want to take over being there for daily calls that stress him/cancel our dinner/and Trudy doesn't want help? Am I *wrong* to want a 10 min. family dinner with no phone calls? help...
This is a great site, very helpful information.
I would love some advice. Married for 8 years, a blended family,, we have one high schooler at home. For years, it's been a conflict that my husband will take phone calls during the family dinner. Or, we'll be very very close to finishing dinner and he'll excuse himself to make a call (to his brother, nephew, exc.)
Unfortunately, his brother died 3 months ago :-( My sister in law "Trudy" is having a hard time. We often get phone calls from Trudy's daughter saying "Trudy is very upset, wishes she had died with her husband, but won't go to a counselor/grief support" Everyone offers to go see Trudy, dine with her, exc. but she of course is still grieving.
Tonight husband's cell phone rang 3 times in a row during dinner, so he hopped up to answer. (in middle of meal) It was Trudy's daughter saying Trudy is upset again/Trudy had bad day.-- Trudy's daughter wanted to vent -- that is fine with me, but why couldn't DH finish dinner THEN return the call?
---Husband missed all of dinner, then threw his food away saying lost his appetite. **My point - of course we all love our families, but I have asked husband over and over "can we have a 10 min. dinner with our teenager (family time) and not take phone calls"
Tonight he said he stayed on phone long time during dinner as it was "Family crisis" w/Trudy. ..I said am tired of family dinner being interrupted, I want a short family dinner, he said that I am being selfish as it was a 'crisis" and I'm "thinking of myself" I said well can you go visit Trudy tomorrow/offer to help her find grief support, exc. - He said no, that she'll refuse. So why is it a "Crisis" and my dh let the phone call ruin his dinner/ruin his mood/make me and son wonder "What's going on on the phone, is someone ill?" I feel there should be boundaries. PS Trudy's deceased husband was unhappy with her, said she was a hypochondriac, exc, I don't mean that in cruel way, I mean does my DH really want to take over being there for daily calls that stress him/cancel our dinner/and Trudy doesn't want help? Am I *wrong* to want a 10 min. family dinner with no phone calls? help...
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