Hi Folks, I've been married for ten years and have two kids, I've been separated for a year and I don't know what to do with my marriage.
My wife is a wonderful woman that I've known for last fifteen years. She is kind and caring, very beautiful as well. When we married I was young we agreed that I will work and support her while she is trying to figure out her studies and career. I've been supporting her ever since we got married. I've been working a full time job and part time business for over eight years on average 60-75 hours a week, which allowed me to pay the bills and save a little as well, and support my wife. We were married for four years before we decided to have kids, during which she tried to study and find a direction for a career but somehow didn't she became very frustrated and gave up on studies at some point. I stopped talking about her studies and career at some point because she would just get mad and upset.
I think I managed to work myself out of a relationship slowly. Combination of me working long hours, having very little personal time, not working on my marriage and being sexually unsatisfied has resulted three years ago of me finding escape in abusing substances and eventually being intimate with someone else. I felt terrible about cheating on my wife, I couldn't talk to anyone about it, I felt lost and instead of seeking professional help the downward spiral continued. Over two years ago I met someone, she supported me in a difficult time and I have been in a relationship with that woman ever since. This is when I told my wife that I need to move as I am in relationship with someone else. I've been living on my own for over a year now.
During this time I've made a lot of personal progress, I've done a lot of counselling, I've been trying to make healthier choices and improve my life. However during this year I've been struggling with a decision of ending my marriage mainly because of my kids but also because my wife wants me to come back and try to work things out. I see my kids two to three times a week and they stay at my place as well, it's one of the happy moments I have day to day.
I still care for my wife, and she does care about me too. I've been separated for over a year and been in a relationship with someone else, and I don't want to continue living this way any longer, I am torn, depressed and I feel like a failure. I can't seem to come to accept that my marriage might be over and divorce is a final resolution. I've been going mad and looking to come to a decision for the last fourteen months but I still can't. At this point I just don't know what to do.
My wife is a wonderful woman that I've known for last fifteen years. She is kind and caring, very beautiful as well. When we married I was young we agreed that I will work and support her while she is trying to figure out her studies and career. I've been supporting her ever since we got married. I've been working a full time job and part time business for over eight years on average 60-75 hours a week, which allowed me to pay the bills and save a little as well, and support my wife. We were married for four years before we decided to have kids, during which she tried to study and find a direction for a career but somehow didn't she became very frustrated and gave up on studies at some point. I stopped talking about her studies and career at some point because she would just get mad and upset.
I think I managed to work myself out of a relationship slowly. Combination of me working long hours, having very little personal time, not working on my marriage and being sexually unsatisfied has resulted three years ago of me finding escape in abusing substances and eventually being intimate with someone else. I felt terrible about cheating on my wife, I couldn't talk to anyone about it, I felt lost and instead of seeking professional help the downward spiral continued. Over two years ago I met someone, she supported me in a difficult time and I have been in a relationship with that woman ever since. This is when I told my wife that I need to move as I am in relationship with someone else. I've been living on my own for over a year now.
During this time I've made a lot of personal progress, I've done a lot of counselling, I've been trying to make healthier choices and improve my life. However during this year I've been struggling with a decision of ending my marriage mainly because of my kids but also because my wife wants me to come back and try to work things out. I see my kids two to three times a week and they stay at my place as well, it's one of the happy moments I have day to day.
I still care for my wife, and she does care about me too. I've been separated for over a year and been in a relationship with someone else, and I don't want to continue living this way any longer, I am torn, depressed and I feel like a failure. I can't seem to come to accept that my marriage might be over and divorce is a final resolution. I've been going mad and looking to come to a decision for the last fourteen months but I still can't. At this point I just don't know what to do.
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