My husband and I have been married for 8 1/2 years. Sex with him has never been great but I thought it would get better. I had great sex with other partners before him, so my expectations are high. He is not a passionate guy and he very easily and happily gets in a rut. Sex with him is the same thing every time. It's gotten really boring and I'd rather not have sex with him at all than do the same thing over and over. How does someone not improve over time? Anyway, we've had 3 kids over the course of our marriage and for a few months after each kid, I've had zero sex drive. Well, after baby #3, when I did finally get my sex drive back, I knew I would be disappointed with what I could get with my husband. I didn't have an affair physically, but I did engage in sexual conversations with a male friend from college. (He's the guy I always wanted to be with but the timing was always off, I guess. That's another conversation for another thread.) Anyway, this en counter made me realize that it wasn't me that was uninterested in sex. It was that I was disappointed and uninterested in the sex I was getting. I tried talking with my husband about this. How sex could be more enjoyable, that we need to not do the same thing every time, etc. He made some changes initially but now we're back in the same old rut. How do I nicely tell him that I can't keep doing this boring stuff? I obviously can't say, "I hate how you touch me and I'd rather not have sex with you." I don't know how to nicely have that conversation. Suggestions?
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