I am 44 and my wife is the same age. My separation is the result of a bizarre series of events in which I'd like to share. After being married for 9 years, my wife decided to leave, stating that she was stressed from the kids and she felt in the middle all the time ( her three kids, my step kids ). While traveling to visit her daughter, 19, who is in college and was depressed from just breaking up with her boyfriend, my wife decided to contact an old friend of mine who lives on the east coast, to discuss depression about her daughter with him...his sister suffered from this. While contacting him, the discussion turned sexual...she always had something for him which I noticed in past gatherings and such but thought it was just innocent flirting. Anyway, he decided to bash me and convince her to leave me, citing I wasn't worthy, she'd be happier without me, etc. He has known to break up couples in the past and garners a sick pleasure from doing so.
When she returned, about a week went by where she was cold, discerning, aloof and distant...although these signs were prevalent before she left as well...constant texting, avoiding me, etc. Then, one morning after going out with friends, where she ignored me all night, she said she was leaving me. It was shortly after this that I checked her online phone bill and noticed numerous texts and calls to him, starting the day she went to visit her daughter. He persuaded her to leave me, and he brainwashed her into doing so...he's very persuasive and manipulative. I stayed in the house for two months before moving, which was hell. I caught her sexting to him one night, taking off her nightie, and I constantly asked her about their contact. I received answers from "none of your business" to "who cares" to denial...all out of sync with each other. They were still in contact.
When I moved out, I later discovered she slept with him the night I moved out...she picked him up at the airport and they had sex in her car...he was in town to pick up his vehicle. This was planned, as she wanted me out a month earlier because of this night.
The next eight months led to my wife engaging in wild threesome sex, sex with married men, and other women. She would tell me these episodes outright, even showing me videos of her having sex with strangers which were on her phone. It killed me. I asked her not to but she proceeded, and I was like a deer in the lights. She turned into a sex addict, all fronted from her and my ex friend sharing their sex stories and sending videos back and forth to each other. They had no intention of being together as a couple, just sex friends who got off on this stuff. He got her into this, as she was never like this before or had this type of character. Her niece told her she needed help but refused. She showed and told these stories to her friends, fooled around with guys at work, during work ( in a school )...she was out of control. She even told me she didn't use protection...and was getting checked for std's all the while. We kept in contact throughout our sep., and she used me for mo ney and favours...I couldn't believe what she turned into, all under the influence of this idiot.
After a year, this plagues my mind daily. We haven't spoken in a month. She accuses me of guilting her and manipulating her when I bring this up...she shuts down the conversation instantly.She was a different woman...uncaring, hurtful...and was hypnotized by this adventurous lifestyle. Her threesome stuff was with married couples which floored me. It was like she was proud of it...rubbing it in to me. I learned that she told someone I knew that I was a mistake and I should have stayed as a renter instead of a husband when I moved into her home after we met. I saw her through a series of crises with her kids and ex husband through the 9 years we were married. Her kids were also hard to deal with, as I was the stepdad and it wasn't easy.
I believe her and my ex friend are still in contact. She slept with him at Christmas when he came home. I believe she is attempting a relationship with someone new now, but I don't know if this sex stuff has ceased.I am hurt and broken. I've seen 5 counsellors, and even though I'm getting better, I can't believe our healthy and happy marriage...which it was...turned into this mainly because of one backstabber.
Any comments, questions, suggestions, feedback, or comparisons would be appreciated...thanks.
When she returned, about a week went by where she was cold, discerning, aloof and distant...although these signs were prevalent before she left as well...constant texting, avoiding me, etc. Then, one morning after going out with friends, where she ignored me all night, she said she was leaving me. It was shortly after this that I checked her online phone bill and noticed numerous texts and calls to him, starting the day she went to visit her daughter. He persuaded her to leave me, and he brainwashed her into doing so...he's very persuasive and manipulative. I stayed in the house for two months before moving, which was hell. I caught her sexting to him one night, taking off her nightie, and I constantly asked her about their contact. I received answers from "none of your business" to "who cares" to denial...all out of sync with each other. They were still in contact.
When I moved out, I later discovered she slept with him the night I moved out...she picked him up at the airport and they had sex in her car...he was in town to pick up his vehicle. This was planned, as she wanted me out a month earlier because of this night.
The next eight months led to my wife engaging in wild threesome sex, sex with married men, and other women. She would tell me these episodes outright, even showing me videos of her having sex with strangers which were on her phone. It killed me. I asked her not to but she proceeded, and I was like a deer in the lights. She turned into a sex addict, all fronted from her and my ex friend sharing their sex stories and sending videos back and forth to each other. They had no intention of being together as a couple, just sex friends who got off on this stuff. He got her into this, as she was never like this before or had this type of character. Her niece told her she needed help but refused. She showed and told these stories to her friends, fooled around with guys at work, during work ( in a school )...she was out of control. She even told me she didn't use protection...and was getting checked for std's all the while. We kept in contact throughout our sep., and she used me for mo ney and favours...I couldn't believe what she turned into, all under the influence of this idiot.
After a year, this plagues my mind daily. We haven't spoken in a month. She accuses me of guilting her and manipulating her when I bring this up...she shuts down the conversation instantly.She was a different woman...uncaring, hurtful...and was hypnotized by this adventurous lifestyle. Her threesome stuff was with married couples which floored me. It was like she was proud of it...rubbing it in to me. I learned that she told someone I knew that I was a mistake and I should have stayed as a renter instead of a husband when I moved into her home after we met. I saw her through a series of crises with her kids and ex husband through the 9 years we were married. Her kids were also hard to deal with, as I was the stepdad and it wasn't easy.
I believe her and my ex friend are still in contact. She slept with him at Christmas when he came home. I believe she is attempting a relationship with someone new now, but I don't know if this sex stuff has ceased.I am hurt and broken. I've seen 5 counsellors, and even though I'm getting better, I can't believe our healthy and happy marriage...which it was...turned into this mainly because of one backstabber.
Any comments, questions, suggestions, feedback, or comparisons would be appreciated...thanks.
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