New here, just found this forum ... I need some help and guidance.
I have been married to husband for 12 years and we have been together for 14 years. We have two beautiful daughters ages 7 and 10. About a month ago, I noticed my husband wouldn't look at me the same, never made eye contact and seemed very distant. So like a typical wife, i went looking for answers and found them. He was having an emotional affair with a woman at work. I confronted him about it and he said they were just friends and nothing had happened (Pictures, texts, e-mails say other wise). I demanded he end it and think about his family. He said he would but he needed time to think about things because i was unsupportive, always arguing with him, and my self esteem sucks. So taking what he said I started working on being nicer, bettering myself, etc. As a paranoid wife now, because the trust was broken a few weeks later he told me he was working late (Very unusual, especially in his line of work) and i decided to look up this other woman's address and take a ri de past her house. BAM, there he was at her house. I confronted both of them and they still insisted nothing was going on and he said I was controlling, etc.
So long story short, we went to one counselling session and he said he didn't think it would help. He refuses to go to church. And has told me he no longer is in love with me, there is not emotional attachment and he is done with the marriage (separation/divorce). We still live under the same roof because until we sell the house, I cannot afford to move into my own place with the kids. It's so hard though to be around him. I want to be angry and sad at the same time but I am past the stage of begging and pleading because he just keeps saying there is no hope.
So here's were all the confusion comes in ... so I still have to live with him (i live upstairs, he down) but he still wants to maintain a friendship where he can ask me how my day was, I have done laundry, made dinner. But when is enough enough, how do I either get him to come back to me, or where do i cut it off? One minute he tells me he still loves me and will always care for me but then another he tells me there is no hope and he wouldn't be bothered if i find someone else ... REALLY???
I need some guidance here because i don't know where to go from here? I don't know what to do? I am trying to stay calm and collective for my kids who know that we are getting separated. Please help?
I have been married to husband for 12 years and we have been together for 14 years. We have two beautiful daughters ages 7 and 10. About a month ago, I noticed my husband wouldn't look at me the same, never made eye contact and seemed very distant. So like a typical wife, i went looking for answers and found them. He was having an emotional affair with a woman at work. I confronted him about it and he said they were just friends and nothing had happened (Pictures, texts, e-mails say other wise). I demanded he end it and think about his family. He said he would but he needed time to think about things because i was unsupportive, always arguing with him, and my self esteem sucks. So taking what he said I started working on being nicer, bettering myself, etc. As a paranoid wife now, because the trust was broken a few weeks later he told me he was working late (Very unusual, especially in his line of work) and i decided to look up this other woman's address and take a ri de past her house. BAM, there he was at her house. I confronted both of them and they still insisted nothing was going on and he said I was controlling, etc.
So long story short, we went to one counselling session and he said he didn't think it would help. He refuses to go to church. And has told me he no longer is in love with me, there is not emotional attachment and he is done with the marriage (separation/divorce). We still live under the same roof because until we sell the house, I cannot afford to move into my own place with the kids. It's so hard though to be around him. I want to be angry and sad at the same time but I am past the stage of begging and pleading because he just keeps saying there is no hope.
So here's were all the confusion comes in ... so I still have to live with him (i live upstairs, he down) but he still wants to maintain a friendship where he can ask me how my day was, I have done laundry, made dinner. But when is enough enough, how do I either get him to come back to me, or where do i cut it off? One minute he tells me he still loves me and will always care for me but then another he tells me there is no hope and he wouldn't be bothered if i find someone else ... REALLY???
I need some guidance here because i don't know where to go from here? I don't know what to do? I am trying to stay calm and collective for my kids who know that we are getting separated. Please help?
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