I've been with my boyfriend four months. We only went official about a month ago and he met some of my friends. He is in his own words "a wind up merchant", but recently he's started to get on my nerves. I want to put it across without hurting him. I don't want things to crash and burn over something that is resolvable.
We were out getting lunch recently - and lately I've been extremely distracted due to exams coming up soon. I think it has put a strain on things to some extent, because I've not been able to enjoy our time together as much, since exams have constantly been on my mind. He made a couple of comments that really grated on my nerves and upset me. Firstly, I have a lot of sleep issues - have suffered from insomnia for years and he made a comment about me having an "easy, lazy life." I'm quite well spoken, which often leads people to think I'm from a privileged background. But I've been blighted with illness throughout my life - I'm nearly 23 and only just looking into going into university, because it's taken me so long to get my health to the stage where I can consider it.
Even though he insisted he's just "winding me up" it really cut deep. The other comment he made was about how I was "being boring and boring him" over lunch. Again, I don't think I've been as engaged during our time together lately and I've felt very low - so perhaps I was a tiny bit boring that day, but him saying that to me really hurt. I wouldn't ever say anything like that to him. I'm finding that he's making more and more comments that are chipping away at my confidence. I don't mind being wound up, but he's always picking lately - saying stuff about how my nails are in a state (I've been biting them down through stress). Perhaps these things wouldn't hit such a nerve if I was in a better state of mind, but at the moment they're making me resent him.
I don't want to break up because he can be a really good guy, but I feel like he's almost got too comfy in our relationship too quickly. But he's also very sensitive, so I don't know how to tell him all this without upsetting him or pissing him off. I think it's important that I communicate to him how I feel, because frankly I feel like he's not treating me with much respect anymore - and these are the early days still!
Put the internet to work for you.
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