Me and my girlfriend are 17, and are in a long distance relationship. She lives about 4 hours on the train away from me, so despite the fact we have been together for nearly 5 months, I can only see her maybe once a month...
Anyway, so we are both in Year 12 and currently meant to be revising hard for AS level exams which start in like a week (oh god), and she is very depressed. I have been finding it pretty hard to stay motivated, but she is feeling much worse than me... Her depression had got better over the past year or so, but the lead-up to exams has been so tough for her, and I usually have to spend at least 2 hours every night on the phone to her or on Skype to her to make sure she is okay and she doesn't end up self-harming.
I really want to help her, and we are both very serious about the relationship.. and in my opinion, she is kinda more important than exams. Although I constantly hear people saying that you should put your exams and your life/career/whatever first, I can't help but want to put her first.
This means I have to give up quite a lot of my revision time for her, and also sometimes I cannot concentrate on studying just because I can't help but worry about her.. I really hate seeing her this upset, especially knowing that you can't be there physically when she has urges to do something like self-harm :/
So I'm not really sure what to do a lot of the time.. one time I told her I couldn't talk to her for a few hours so I could focus on revision, and when I talked to her afterwards, she told me she'd had a panic attack and cryed by herself all night, and I felt so bad. Some nights she is okay, but I can very rarely predict when these feelings are going to occur..
So yeah... :$ if anyone has any advice on how to help or what I should, that would be great!
Also, before you comment, please understand that mental illness is not something people can easily control.. it is not just exam stress or her being clingy, it is a real medical condition, and it isn't her fault.
Thank you!
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