Background:
I've been working the same job for about 17 years now, 4 of which before meeting my wife. I would say I enjoyed about the first 3 years of working this job, but after my forth year I knew I wanted to do something different with my life. This is about the same time I met my wife. About 8 months into our relationship my wife ended up getting pregnant (yes mine). This was a surprise for both of us as my wife was on birth control at the time and we both thought we were being safe. Anyhow because I was the primary provider, I ended up getting stuck working the same job I work today. The pay has never been great, but I stuck with it because of the benefits and for stability reasons. As for my wife she has, for the most part, worked full time, but did bounce around due to getting laid off, quitting or just getting fired. The last job she landed seemed like it would be a good fit for her, but the commute became an issue and so in long run it was not going to work out. So we both agreed that she would be better off running the business I started full time. And this is where the issue starts…..
The issue in lack of support:
Now my job has literally sucked the life out of me, I hate it with a passion, get zero satisfaction out of it and at this point there's no opportunity for growth. About 3 year ago from today I decided I would throw caution into the wind a take a risk (not like me at all), the risk being starting my own business and using a decent amount of our savings to do so. Today the business is quite successful especially considering the effort put towards it. See as mentioned above my wife would eventually run this business full time vs. working a full time job at some company. After 3 years of success I want so bad to take this business to the next level and feel very confident in doing so. As for my wife, well she could care less about the business and makes almost no effort to help it grow. She instead only focusing on the work that comes her way vs. driving the business forward. And this is not because she doesn't know how to drive it, the opportunity is there and the potential for growth is limited only in the effort put towards it. Personally this drives me batty as I wish I had the opportunity she does, but I am instead working a job I absolutely hate and have almost no time to put towards the business. Today is a perfect example that explains my frustration in lack of effort. The business is supposed to open at 8 am, well because my wife will normally chit-chat with parents after dropping the kids off at school and also hit the gym afterwards; she normally doesn't start working until 10am. This is something we have gotten into a fight about, but now I just keep my mouth shut because I always end up being the jerk and in the wrong. Anyhow today my wife didn't start working until noon, this just erks me big time, but I can't say anything because it won't get me anywhere.
Now the worst part… my wife is now entertaining the idea of getting a full time job simply because the pay is decent (a little more than what we made this year) and there's retirement. This is great and all and she'll probably land it with the connection we have, but it would just kill me inside to close my business (we can't both work and run the business). I understand the business is my thing, but I feel like I've made so many sacrifices over the years and at this point I just can't understand why she wouldn't want to support me like I have her. More so than ever I know we can make the business grow, possibly even to the point where we could make some serious money from it. I feel like the only thing holding us back is her lack of effort.
I welcome any and all advice. Do I just let this go, close up shop and support her in pursuing this job she is interested in? I know doing this will destroy me emotionally and I'll still have to work my job.
BTW I can't afford to pay someone else to run the business; if I could I would and just take my wife out of the equation all together, which would be my best bet.
So sorry for novel :o
I've been working the same job for about 17 years now, 4 of which before meeting my wife. I would say I enjoyed about the first 3 years of working this job, but after my forth year I knew I wanted to do something different with my life. This is about the same time I met my wife. About 8 months into our relationship my wife ended up getting pregnant (yes mine). This was a surprise for both of us as my wife was on birth control at the time and we both thought we were being safe. Anyhow because I was the primary provider, I ended up getting stuck working the same job I work today. The pay has never been great, but I stuck with it because of the benefits and for stability reasons. As for my wife she has, for the most part, worked full time, but did bounce around due to getting laid off, quitting or just getting fired. The last job she landed seemed like it would be a good fit for her, but the commute became an issue and so in long run it was not going to work out. So we both agreed that she would be better off running the business I started full time. And this is where the issue starts…..
The issue in lack of support:
Now my job has literally sucked the life out of me, I hate it with a passion, get zero satisfaction out of it and at this point there's no opportunity for growth. About 3 year ago from today I decided I would throw caution into the wind a take a risk (not like me at all), the risk being starting my own business and using a decent amount of our savings to do so. Today the business is quite successful especially considering the effort put towards it. See as mentioned above my wife would eventually run this business full time vs. working a full time job at some company. After 3 years of success I want so bad to take this business to the next level and feel very confident in doing so. As for my wife, well she could care less about the business and makes almost no effort to help it grow. She instead only focusing on the work that comes her way vs. driving the business forward. And this is not because she doesn't know how to drive it, the opportunity is there and the potential for growth is limited only in the effort put towards it. Personally this drives me batty as I wish I had the opportunity she does, but I am instead working a job I absolutely hate and have almost no time to put towards the business. Today is a perfect example that explains my frustration in lack of effort. The business is supposed to open at 8 am, well because my wife will normally chit-chat with parents after dropping the kids off at school and also hit the gym afterwards; she normally doesn't start working until 10am. This is something we have gotten into a fight about, but now I just keep my mouth shut because I always end up being the jerk and in the wrong. Anyhow today my wife didn't start working until noon, this just erks me big time, but I can't say anything because it won't get me anywhere.
Now the worst part… my wife is now entertaining the idea of getting a full time job simply because the pay is decent (a little more than what we made this year) and there's retirement. This is great and all and she'll probably land it with the connection we have, but it would just kill me inside to close my business (we can't both work and run the business). I understand the business is my thing, but I feel like I've made so many sacrifices over the years and at this point I just can't understand why she wouldn't want to support me like I have her. More so than ever I know we can make the business grow, possibly even to the point where we could make some serious money from it. I feel like the only thing holding us back is her lack of effort.
I welcome any and all advice. Do I just let this go, close up shop and support her in pursuing this job she is interested in? I know doing this will destroy me emotionally and I'll still have to work my job.
BTW I can't afford to pay someone else to run the business; if I could I would and just take my wife out of the equation all together, which would be my best bet.
So sorry for novel :o
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