People of TSR.
I probably know what you are all going to say (and it won't be nice!) but I feel like I need to let it out somewhere because I definitely cannot tell my flat mates or circle of friends and it's driving me crazy.
I have had an on-off friendship with one of my mates in the last few years (nothing serious just disagreements over politics and being far too drunk/angry etc.) Anyway we are good friends now and have been for awhile.
For eight months he has been in a relationship with a woman who also shares the same friendship group as all of us. So I will always see her about at my flat, parties, movie outings, dinners, drinks you name it. I've also developed a very good relationship with her but I am wary of developing getting any closer with her because I'm afraid it might become obvious that I am falling for her.
I need it to be let known that I am not usually one for girls or clingy relationships although I have had them in the past. I do not develop feelings for people very easily. I am also grumpy as many of the footie lads would tell you.
But she has changed everything.
The more I get to know her the more I despair because I am well and truly falling her but she's with my friend. She is not a girl. She is the most mature, gracious, intelligent, talented, driven and sophisticated woman I have ever met who keeps proving to be wise well beyond her years and to top it all of she is beautiful inside and out. I didn't even know they make them like this anymore.
Every time my mate comes over without her you can tell he is well and truly whipped because all he talks about is her and how lucky he is. They moved in together after just three months into their relationship and the cynic in me thought they would have no chance because it was too soon but he's proven me wrong he seems more in love with her than ever. And this guy used to be similar to me - didn't like his exes even when they were together, they restricted his freedom a lot and were too clingy and made him miserable but this woman has completely changed him and he's happier for it.
I cannot get her out of my head. She is the only one who has made me feel like this in years. Every little thing she says or gesture she makes I remember. I feel like if I don't have her then I will be lost forever to a string of meaningless encounters with vacant, uninteresting women I will never care about - like I let her get away. And I know it sounds bad, but if it meant losing my friendship with my mate but getting the woman of my dreams then I would take it.
I cannot convey here how much I care about this woman.
I even let it slip out on a couple of nights out whilst I was drunk that if she wasn't with my friend I would have definitely have gone for her by now. But I think she just brushes this off because she never mentions it again. Probably to save me from embarrassment.
My friend is going away travelling for two months in Feb while she will be on her own in the flat. I even have these thoughts of wooing her behind his back. Which is bad, you do not need to tell me.
I'm not expecting advice per se - maybe how to get over these feelings while at the same time seeing her constantly because we are all in the same friendship circle. Until they break up I know I should not do anything but I even have to hold myself back from flirting with her.
It's a constant struggle. At least I got it off my chest.
Put the internet to work for you.
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