Well here is my story,
My wife and I have been together since school and married for 17years me 41 her 40!
We have had some troubles in the past but have been able to sort them out
I always felt my wife was the most honest person I have known basically she was very moralistic couldnt tell a lie and cheating etc was definatley not on until now..
I have been working away on a 2week on and 1 week off arrangement for the last 3 years to try and earn some extra dollars as we desperatley need the money as the bank was forclosing on the house.
During this time things were not so good between us she said she wanted to work on things I agreed and was looking at not working away anymore.
This was in July 2014 during this time we were working on things until I could come home permanantley
Then DDAY arrived 30th of sept 14 I caught her talking to her boss on the phone i didnt quite get the whole conversation but it didnt seem to be a conversation to be having with her boss.
So i confronted her it took almost an hour to get the truth out of her with alot of crying and begging on her part.
From what i have been told from her it seems it was an emotional affair with some kissing involved.
I was devastated and still am but she has done nothing but blame me for her wrongs and absolutley everything is my fault apparently my 3 years of working away has broke her. BROKE being her choice word for our marriage.
We have a daughter aged 6 she does not want to reconcile says she is so badly hurt and broken by me that she wants to move on build her own life and own future.She is not with the boss but says she still has feelings for him which she needs to sort out.
He transfered to a differnt state
I have done everything i shouldnt have done begged pleaded cried and her attitude is the same. familiar story on here i guess!
She says the usual i need time and lots of it to sort my self out and she beleives i need the same.
I have tried NC but didnt stick to it its hard when you have kids.
Everytime i impossed it her demeanor changed from being in control to not being in control.
I am now limiting calls and keeping it strictly on a needs basis about financials bills kids etc nothing more
She says im being horrible mean and nasty for doing this.
I told her what i wanted and that was our marriage she refuses counselling etc even for her own individual self
She wants her cake and eat it too she says stuff like i love you but not in love with you
You will always be a huge part of my life
You are still my best friend
Im not going anywhere I will always be here for you
But i want seperation and space time to breathe etc etc
We are now going down the road of selling our home.
She still wants to play happy families and have family time and socialise with our friends
Most of our friends know we are seperated and the reasons why as i told them because she wouldnt tell anyone she cheated. She doesnt acknowledge it as cheating either
She says she hates the house we built 3 years ago and doesnt want it
So i guess what im asking you guys is do I ditch her and run or do i try and fix things bit hard when she doesnt want too
I do still love her and decided I could forgive the affair
but everytime i think we might have some connections she tears me down again and i cant keeping doing it emotionally
Im starting to think give her what she has asked for and she can live her life the way she wants.
My wife and I have been together since school and married for 17years me 41 her 40!
We have had some troubles in the past but have been able to sort them out
I always felt my wife was the most honest person I have known basically she was very moralistic couldnt tell a lie and cheating etc was definatley not on until now..
I have been working away on a 2week on and 1 week off arrangement for the last 3 years to try and earn some extra dollars as we desperatley need the money as the bank was forclosing on the house.
During this time things were not so good between us she said she wanted to work on things I agreed and was looking at not working away anymore.
This was in July 2014 during this time we were working on things until I could come home permanantley
Then DDAY arrived 30th of sept 14 I caught her talking to her boss on the phone i didnt quite get the whole conversation but it didnt seem to be a conversation to be having with her boss.
So i confronted her it took almost an hour to get the truth out of her with alot of crying and begging on her part.
From what i have been told from her it seems it was an emotional affair with some kissing involved.
I was devastated and still am but she has done nothing but blame me for her wrongs and absolutley everything is my fault apparently my 3 years of working away has broke her. BROKE being her choice word for our marriage.
We have a daughter aged 6 she does not want to reconcile says she is so badly hurt and broken by me that she wants to move on build her own life and own future.She is not with the boss but says she still has feelings for him which she needs to sort out.
He transfered to a differnt state
I have done everything i shouldnt have done begged pleaded cried and her attitude is the same. familiar story on here i guess!
She says the usual i need time and lots of it to sort my self out and she beleives i need the same.
I have tried NC but didnt stick to it its hard when you have kids.
Everytime i impossed it her demeanor changed from being in control to not being in control.
I am now limiting calls and keeping it strictly on a needs basis about financials bills kids etc nothing more
She says im being horrible mean and nasty for doing this.
I told her what i wanted and that was our marriage she refuses counselling etc even for her own individual self
She wants her cake and eat it too she says stuff like i love you but not in love with you
You will always be a huge part of my life
You are still my best friend
Im not going anywhere I will always be here for you
But i want seperation and space time to breathe etc etc
We are now going down the road of selling our home.
She still wants to play happy families and have family time and socialise with our friends
Most of our friends know we are seperated and the reasons why as i told them because she wouldnt tell anyone she cheated. She doesnt acknowledge it as cheating either
She says she hates the house we built 3 years ago and doesnt want it
So i guess what im asking you guys is do I ditch her and run or do i try and fix things bit hard when she doesnt want too
I do still love her and decided I could forgive the affair
but everytime i think we might have some connections she tears me down again and i cant keeping doing it emotionally
Im starting to think give her what she has asked for and she can live her life the way she wants.
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment