greetings to all,
i'm new in here and was hoping to get some helpful advice.
i'm so depressed about a recent issue in my marriage, i hope its ok if i tell how it goes in here.
i'm 28 and my husband is 30. weve been married for almost 6yrs and have a 3yrs old son. he is a faithful man who used to love me completely and i love him so much.
My husband and i basically apart due to work. He is working in diffirent place far from where we live. He just come home once a week during his off and spend a day with us for a family time.
My husband as i know him and everyone else is a very responsible and dedicated man, he is the kind of person that is dedicated to his work and very hard working that is why he got his goals and dreams fullfilled i can say he is a very successful guy when it comes to work.
But then after he got promoted he has changed a lot as i feel it. He said, "He never changed he's just having a very stressful job going on right now, it makes him sensitive and moody".
i dont think so it is the only reason, i felt there is something else behind the work stressing him off... i observe him closely and so much things missing in our relationship that we used to have.
*Before - We used to talk about everything, about life and our future plans.
Now - He don't talk to me about those things anymore.
*Before - He used to share with me everything, talk about how his day went and things he do.
Now - We rarely talk on phone, most of the time he only sends me message telling his already in his room and his tired thats all.
*Before - He used to be very fun to be with, we never had a day without laughter he loves to make a joke just to make me laugh.
Now - whenever his home he either just sleep all day or watch football.
*Before - We used to have long hours of conversation talking about anything or just having a silly chat and laugh
Now - it only takes us few minutes of conversation or he just keep quiet even were in same room.
*Before - He used to be very intimate and loving
Now - hugs and kisses felt like he is only doing it coz he has to.
Though still we have a good relation when were together. We respect each other very much, We never fights, i can only count how many times we have disagreements and we always find a way to how to deal with it. Just the diffirence now is if ever we have something we disagree, he will just say "its up to you" or "ok".
I felt there is something is wrong, i have this feeling in me that i just wanna ignore it coz i dont want to ruin our trust and marriage.
But theres this feeling that make my chest feel heavy its difficult to breath and i dont get it.
I tried to talk to his very best friend about it and he said he dont believe my husband would do such thing. but one time he did confront my husband about it to confess if he really is doing something else aside from work and my husband do swear "he dont and would never do such thing". I wanna believe it i dont wanna ruin my trust in him.
But the feeling gets a lot stronger just after me and my son visit my husband just few days ago and stay in his place, he live in hotel where he work.
Something i found that makes me confused till now.
Just the first day we are here everything goes the usual. My husband went down to start his duty checking his staffs and guests and my son and i was left in the room.
i was clearing my son's mess wiping the floor with wet tissue when i found a hair, long hair and what goes my mind "this can't be my hair" i checked it properly, its much longer than mine the texture is diffrent and the color of it. i felt so upset but i dont wanna run into conclusion so i move on cleaning to clear my mind when again i found hair not only one but more. maybe less than 15 strands.
My heart pounds fast on my mind "if that hair is from housekeeping its impossible to leave 15 strands of hair in a room right? ".
I felt angry i wanted to cry i am so confused but try to calm myself down and figure things out by myself if something is going on i wont ask confront my husband without having proof and knowing what am talking about.
So i message his good friend who work in the same hotel brand that my husband is working, asking about the standard of the hotel. Do they have female housekeeper? and guess what his friend says? all of the hotel in same brand name as them never take a female staff for housekeeping as it is a very tough job to do.
That felt the world has crashed on me, i wanted to cry. i wanna ask him about it but i dont know how will i do it?
I dont know where to start, the only thing that was on my mind "i dont wanna ruin my son's fun with him when their together"
So i act fine and nothings wrong but it really is killing me inside. i dont know how to open up the topic coz all i wanted is the truth and for him to be honest
I dont mind how painful it will be if ever he will tell me he has someone else.
All i wanna know the truth and the reason why.
Im so confused and depressed, we do cuddle every night having a great time.
I pretend to be alright for the sake of my son, but this issue is really killing me.
What should i do??? Im so confused please help me...
i'm new in here and was hoping to get some helpful advice.
i'm so depressed about a recent issue in my marriage, i hope its ok if i tell how it goes in here.
i'm 28 and my husband is 30. weve been married for almost 6yrs and have a 3yrs old son. he is a faithful man who used to love me completely and i love him so much.
My husband and i basically apart due to work. He is working in diffirent place far from where we live. He just come home once a week during his off and spend a day with us for a family time.
My husband as i know him and everyone else is a very responsible and dedicated man, he is the kind of person that is dedicated to his work and very hard working that is why he got his goals and dreams fullfilled i can say he is a very successful guy when it comes to work.
But then after he got promoted he has changed a lot as i feel it. He said, "He never changed he's just having a very stressful job going on right now, it makes him sensitive and moody".
i dont think so it is the only reason, i felt there is something else behind the work stressing him off... i observe him closely and so much things missing in our relationship that we used to have.
*Before - We used to talk about everything, about life and our future plans.
Now - He don't talk to me about those things anymore.
*Before - He used to share with me everything, talk about how his day went and things he do.
Now - We rarely talk on phone, most of the time he only sends me message telling his already in his room and his tired thats all.
*Before - He used to be very fun to be with, we never had a day without laughter he loves to make a joke just to make me laugh.
Now - whenever his home he either just sleep all day or watch football.
*Before - We used to have long hours of conversation talking about anything or just having a silly chat and laugh
Now - it only takes us few minutes of conversation or he just keep quiet even were in same room.
*Before - He used to be very intimate and loving
Now - hugs and kisses felt like he is only doing it coz he has to.
Though still we have a good relation when were together. We respect each other very much, We never fights, i can only count how many times we have disagreements and we always find a way to how to deal with it. Just the diffirence now is if ever we have something we disagree, he will just say "its up to you" or "ok".
I felt there is something is wrong, i have this feeling in me that i just wanna ignore it coz i dont want to ruin our trust and marriage.
But theres this feeling that make my chest feel heavy its difficult to breath and i dont get it.
I tried to talk to his very best friend about it and he said he dont believe my husband would do such thing. but one time he did confront my husband about it to confess if he really is doing something else aside from work and my husband do swear "he dont and would never do such thing". I wanna believe it i dont wanna ruin my trust in him.
But the feeling gets a lot stronger just after me and my son visit my husband just few days ago and stay in his place, he live in hotel where he work.
Something i found that makes me confused till now.
Just the first day we are here everything goes the usual. My husband went down to start his duty checking his staffs and guests and my son and i was left in the room.
i was clearing my son's mess wiping the floor with wet tissue when i found a hair, long hair and what goes my mind "this can't be my hair" i checked it properly, its much longer than mine the texture is diffrent and the color of it. i felt so upset but i dont wanna run into conclusion so i move on cleaning to clear my mind when again i found hair not only one but more. maybe less than 15 strands.
My heart pounds fast on my mind "if that hair is from housekeeping its impossible to leave 15 strands of hair in a room right? ".
I felt angry i wanted to cry i am so confused but try to calm myself down and figure things out by myself if something is going on i wont ask confront my husband without having proof and knowing what am talking about.
So i message his good friend who work in the same hotel brand that my husband is working, asking about the standard of the hotel. Do they have female housekeeper? and guess what his friend says? all of the hotel in same brand name as them never take a female staff for housekeeping as it is a very tough job to do.
That felt the world has crashed on me, i wanted to cry. i wanna ask him about it but i dont know how will i do it?
I dont know where to start, the only thing that was on my mind "i dont wanna ruin my son's fun with him when their together"
So i act fine and nothings wrong but it really is killing me inside. i dont know how to open up the topic coz all i wanted is the truth and for him to be honest
I dont mind how painful it will be if ever he will tell me he has someone else.
All i wanna know the truth and the reason why.
Im so confused and depressed, we do cuddle every night having a great time.
I pretend to be alright for the sake of my son, but this issue is really killing me.
What should i do??? Im so confused please help me...
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