Hi,
I've been with my fiancé for just over a year, having known him since I started at university a couple of years ago. In that time we have had the usual ups and downs, experienced by most couples, and have been separated in the past year due to a change in his work commitments. Nevertheless, we remain in regular contact, see each other weekly, and have overall been very happy together.
My only persistent worry however has been his lack of self confidence. Even before we came together, I was well aware of his shyness and modesty, being of a similar introverted nature myself, but never did I realise just how self critical and judgemental he was. He is reluctant to believe my compliments, whether they be about his appearance or achievements, and has consistently denied himself the right to believe his entitlement to me, as a partner. All too often he claims that he 'is not worthy or me', or that he would understand if I were to 'fall in love with another man'. Despite my constant assurance that he is the One for me, and also my reminders that such comments hurt me, he continues to say them.
I know he has been treated badly throughout his life (he is a number of years older than me), and that our difference may be looked upon negatively by some, but I really do wish I could somehow help him to establish his long lost self confidence and worth. He already has come on 'in leaps and bounds' since we came together, but I still feel we have a way to go. His lack of self confidence is affecting us in the times we have our 'downs', but I know that he loves me most deeply and sincerely, and intends to spend his future with me. I just wish we could find a way to settle his mind!
Could anyone help? Thank you! :)
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