Is my wife an Alcoholic or am I just a bad husband?

For the past 5 years my wife has been drinking excessively once every few months. Almost every time she drinks to much she turns into a person who hates me. Last night was another one of those nights. She says things like "I want nothing to do with you" several times. She gets very loud and upset and also cry's. She says she has wasted her life on me. I know I'm not perfect and I feel so bad and I can take responsibility for my part in our problems, but how much of what she says is due to the alcohol? I don't know what to do. We had been married 34 years, 4 children and a grandchild on the way. We still have 1 teenager at home that she home-schools. She doesn't work and is not fulfilled in anything she does. She has tried many different avenues to find enjoyable, fulfilling work and interest, but nothing has really worked. She tried running her own business, but financially it failed and she blames me for not being supporting enough and p utting more money in it. We lost at least $20,000. I'm very active in playing sports and gone several nights a week and she is not, but I am home the weekends and work from home alot. Our only common interest is drinking these days. We are financially ok and I have a good job and like it. What do I do? She probably wake up and act as nothing really happened and go on with life, but I know it will happen again. I don't want a divorce and love her, but don't want to be the cause of her unhappiness for the next half of her life. I have to admit I'd like someone in my life who shares my interest too. Also we are high school sweethearts so we really have been together 40 years. I know odds are that these things don't work. But those around us think we are really good together. Our kids (adults) adore her and she is great with them. They have noticed her drinking problem also. She has offered to go to treatment, but also said it was only to appease me and get m e off her back about it. She states I drink to, but I don't get abusive towards anyone.

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