Hey forum, this is my first post. I've dug around a little and this seems like a great place for advice. I apologize for what is probably going to be a long post, but I need to talk to someone about this.
I'm a husband who's wife was unfaithful. I discovered about 5 months ago that my wife (together 10 years, married just over 1 year) had been talking to and seeing another man for about 5 weeks. Their relationship was primarily "Emotional" with some physical contact (kissing) - based on what she has said and what I could verify on details. I caught it quick, but I am confident that if they were not having sex, it was just a matter of time.
We had just found out that our first born child was on the way when this all started. We had a very strong friendship and marriage, so I was absolutely floored when everything came to light. She began acting a little different and something just didn't sit right, so I did some digging and discovered their text string and phone call records that started almost the day she found out she was pregnant. WTF???
This information while helpful in unfolding what happened, was also very damaging and heartbreaking to learn. She discussed things with him that were very passionate and intimate (she even referred to us having sex as her cheating on him). Definitely my first question I can't wrap my mind around - what would possess a woman in a good marriage and home who just found out she is pregnant to cheat on her husband with a complete loser???
Fast forward, we stayed separated for a few months and she has since moved back in so i can be there for the final months of the pregnancy. We have completed a paternity test to verify that i am the father. We have been trying to work things out (she is really working hard), but I just can't put as much effort in after knowing what she did to our marriage. Just being honest here...
Since this all happened, I have been confused and beside myself on everything. I really DON'T KNOW what I want to do with our Marriage. Our marriage and friendship was very strong and people say that if your marriage is strong you can work through it, but how strong is a 1 year old marriage that ends up like this, especially given the circumstances???
I am not the emotional type or the person who finds hope in random things - just being honest. This has and will eat away at me for a very very long time. I can't look at her or feel for her the same. The hurt is just too deep.
Our child will be born in a few months and my whole life I have wanted nothing more than to bring my child/children into a great family life. I came from a divorced home and I never wanted to bring my children into this. My intuition tells me to stay together for the child which I am willing to do, even believing I will feel miserable being with her.
I am so confused on what to do or what is the best direction to go. I have no idea how I would be a single father and no desire to start my life over, but can't find the desire to stay with my wife after she did this during such an early and important point in our lives. Just seems like there is no way out. Just need to talk to someone about it. Anyone have anything for me?
I'm a husband who's wife was unfaithful. I discovered about 5 months ago that my wife (together 10 years, married just over 1 year) had been talking to and seeing another man for about 5 weeks. Their relationship was primarily "Emotional" with some physical contact (kissing) - based on what she has said and what I could verify on details. I caught it quick, but I am confident that if they were not having sex, it was just a matter of time.
We had just found out that our first born child was on the way when this all started. We had a very strong friendship and marriage, so I was absolutely floored when everything came to light. She began acting a little different and something just didn't sit right, so I did some digging and discovered their text string and phone call records that started almost the day she found out she was pregnant. WTF???
This information while helpful in unfolding what happened, was also very damaging and heartbreaking to learn. She discussed things with him that were very passionate and intimate (she even referred to us having sex as her cheating on him). Definitely my first question I can't wrap my mind around - what would possess a woman in a good marriage and home who just found out she is pregnant to cheat on her husband with a complete loser???
Fast forward, we stayed separated for a few months and she has since moved back in so i can be there for the final months of the pregnancy. We have completed a paternity test to verify that i am the father. We have been trying to work things out (she is really working hard), but I just can't put as much effort in after knowing what she did to our marriage. Just being honest here...
Since this all happened, I have been confused and beside myself on everything. I really DON'T KNOW what I want to do with our Marriage. Our marriage and friendship was very strong and people say that if your marriage is strong you can work through it, but how strong is a 1 year old marriage that ends up like this, especially given the circumstances???
I am not the emotional type or the person who finds hope in random things - just being honest. This has and will eat away at me for a very very long time. I can't look at her or feel for her the same. The hurt is just too deep.
Our child will be born in a few months and my whole life I have wanted nothing more than to bring my child/children into a great family life. I came from a divorced home and I never wanted to bring my children into this. My intuition tells me to stay together for the child which I am willing to do, even believing I will feel miserable being with her.
I am so confused on what to do or what is the best direction to go. I have no idea how I would be a single father and no desire to start my life over, but can't find the desire to stay with my wife after she did this during such an early and important point in our lives. Just seems like there is no way out. Just need to talk to someone about it. Anyone have anything for me?
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