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Blow Jobs - Why NONE

SO aside from my wife only wanting sex one time every few weeks.. when she isnt tired from who knows what ...

I just realized today that i havent gotten a blow job to completion or come to think of it a real one for maybe 3 years...

I do oral on her and eat her out which she loves before sex. however when she gets turned on its almost like she always wants to orgasm having sex...

In fact the last time we did a 69 was probably longer ago - like 5 or 6 years ago .. wow ...

I have been really thinking about all of this lately because we arent really having any sex and I wish i had either even sometime instead of having sex first , its gotten really boring like
just missionary sex or giving me a hand job ....

I also have been thinking a lot about this and I have realized when I was younger and women wanted me I was into me and working out , nice cars and clothes and having fun more than chasing women or doing lots of stuff for them ...

I realized that I do 100 times more for my wife and family and perhaps thats is why she is not attracted to me any more because I am always around to do stuff , work and support but when it comes to me she doesnt have time or energy yet I can run errands and work a lot...

I know she has to have some health issues if she is tired and depressed but I am just at my wits end and I feel a bunch of resentment and sometimes get jealous that I am not a priority any more - only when something needs to be done around the house or work - I really have to snap back to
worrying about me

Did some mediation and found that perhaps if I work more on my inside and me now - that should be my main focus as I have shifted to whats best for me to whats best for my family and wife and i feel like the more i am doing the less I am appreciated and definitely not desired for her wanting to be with me sexually and I really need that connection right now ..

I just have to fulfill myself internally and get centered and then do more things I enjoy knowing I cant make her want to be with me or change her ....

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