Married a virgin, so I thought. After 1st year, had big fight over lack of sex & found out wife had been sexually abused by high school boyfriend. While she was crying & telling me about what happened, she said he forced her to let him go down on her. She looked at me & asked if that was something I wanted to do. I made a huge mistake & said no. It was something I had tried/wanted to do with her since we got married, but she always had a reason for me not to. She also had other dislikes from the relationship. I asked, (should have demanded), that she talk to someone. She refused. 7 years later after two kids, she told me she wanted a divorce because I was always crabby. (Due to our relationship & also life in general) I went to MC at her request & put on my happy face as dads hardly ever get custody where I live. Another 15 years go by, and I could not help it, I told her I really wanted to go down on her. She got mad & referenced old bf, afte r 25 + years of marriage. I demanded she see a counselor to at least feel better about herself. She refused until I threatened divorce. I didn't demand the act, just MC. I still don't understand why she resisted MC so strongly. Now, she tells me I am talking to her about our relationship too much. After MC, she has allowed PIV once a week. Before, it would be weeks/months. I have read NMMNG, MMSLP & the 5 love languages. Lost 33 #'s and hit the gym 3/week. Even thou it's a messed up deal, I care deeply for her. Any insights?
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