Before I get started I'd like to take a moment and say hello to everyone. I'm new to the forums and look forward to trying to get other people's perspectives and hopefully being able to give back advice based upon my own personal experiences over the years.
Here's my situation.
My ex girlfriend,her two kids and myself have all been living together for a few years. I moved into her house. Recently she was diagnosed with a number of ailments and her doctor informed her it was time to stop working and file for disability. She has done that and is still waiting for her court hearing for it to be decided. We were looking for a more affordable house since we are down to one income for awhile. Her mother offered to let us stay there. I politely declined.
We had a power outage about 3 weeks ago in my neighborhood that lasted about 3 days. They all went to her mother's house. I stayed behind the first night but stayed the next two. During this time period her mother went through a bad break up. When the power came back on we were all supposed to come home. They decided they wanted to go ahead and move in there so we could save up money quicker. However,because of this break up her mom decided she didn't want guys around. Which tore me up but I can deal as long as I see my family every day.
We all continue talking steadily for about a week then my girlfriend starts getting really quiet. After about a week I finally ask her what's going on. I'm posting an excerpt from the email she sent me.
"That first panic attack ever was terrifying and I could feel my body gradually slowing down and sort of quitting. That sucked. Now I'm coming to terms with that but honestly feel incapable of romantic love because I have nothing to give. I can't support myself, my body continues to frustrate and fight against my better judgement and because I'm bigger? I feel like I've crossed over this stupid imagined line where, at a certain size, I'm allowed to be powerful, wise, empathetic, intelligent...just about everything except sexy. I link sexy with looking small. For the life of me I can't figure out why or how to change my own mind."
So not really knowing how to react to that. I reassure her that I'm not concerned about the money or her appearance. I tell her that I think she's beautiful and I love her for who she is (I tell her this often)
The next day she starts talking about how she doesn't think she can date anyone romantically right now. She feels like all her romantic notations are numb. I let her know I disagree but I can't change her mind.
We barely talk for the next 2 weeks outside of getting things arranged to move her belongings out of the house. Last night she starts talking to me about movies and how she is coming over today to get some things.
Today comes and she starts texting me at 1:30am. I'm still awake and we continue talking all the way up till noon when a friend of her mother's brings his truck over. We stopped for about 5 hours while sleeping.
So they get here. Like an idiot I help her move her stuff out instead of just letting her and her mother's friend figure it all out. They leave and she texts me thanking me for the help.
A few hours later she texts me asking me to come over. I do and we chit chat in her new room about the going ons with her ailments and different various things. We end up having sex. I leave a couple hours later. We are still talking a little bit but I do know that today she has been sleeping a lot and her oldest daughter.
Sort of off topic question. Her mother and a couple other relatives are diagnosed bi polar. Is it hereditary by chance? My own personal research (and I'm no doctor) she has a lot of the same symptoms as that described in both bi polar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
So I have no idea what is going on between her and I.
Here's my situation.
My ex girlfriend,her two kids and myself have all been living together for a few years. I moved into her house. Recently she was diagnosed with a number of ailments and her doctor informed her it was time to stop working and file for disability. She has done that and is still waiting for her court hearing for it to be decided. We were looking for a more affordable house since we are down to one income for awhile. Her mother offered to let us stay there. I politely declined.
We had a power outage about 3 weeks ago in my neighborhood that lasted about 3 days. They all went to her mother's house. I stayed behind the first night but stayed the next two. During this time period her mother went through a bad break up. When the power came back on we were all supposed to come home. They decided they wanted to go ahead and move in there so we could save up money quicker. However,because of this break up her mom decided she didn't want guys around. Which tore me up but I can deal as long as I see my family every day.
We all continue talking steadily for about a week then my girlfriend starts getting really quiet. After about a week I finally ask her what's going on. I'm posting an excerpt from the email she sent me.
"That first panic attack ever was terrifying and I could feel my body gradually slowing down and sort of quitting. That sucked. Now I'm coming to terms with that but honestly feel incapable of romantic love because I have nothing to give. I can't support myself, my body continues to frustrate and fight against my better judgement and because I'm bigger? I feel like I've crossed over this stupid imagined line where, at a certain size, I'm allowed to be powerful, wise, empathetic, intelligent...just about everything except sexy. I link sexy with looking small. For the life of me I can't figure out why or how to change my own mind."
So not really knowing how to react to that. I reassure her that I'm not concerned about the money or her appearance. I tell her that I think she's beautiful and I love her for who she is (I tell her this often)
The next day she starts talking about how she doesn't think she can date anyone romantically right now. She feels like all her romantic notations are numb. I let her know I disagree but I can't change her mind.
We barely talk for the next 2 weeks outside of getting things arranged to move her belongings out of the house. Last night she starts talking to me about movies and how she is coming over today to get some things.
Today comes and she starts texting me at 1:30am. I'm still awake and we continue talking all the way up till noon when a friend of her mother's brings his truck over. We stopped for about 5 hours while sleeping.
So they get here. Like an idiot I help her move her stuff out instead of just letting her and her mother's friend figure it all out. They leave and she texts me thanking me for the help.
A few hours later she texts me asking me to come over. I do and we chit chat in her new room about the going ons with her ailments and different various things. We end up having sex. I leave a couple hours later. We are still talking a little bit but I do know that today she has been sleeping a lot and her oldest daughter.
Sort of off topic question. Her mother and a couple other relatives are diagnosed bi polar. Is it hereditary by chance? My own personal research (and I'm no doctor) she has a lot of the same symptoms as that described in both bi polar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
So I have no idea what is going on between her and I.
Put the internet to work for you.
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