My husband and I have been married for 5 years and together for 10. We have both been faithful and honest. The past few months he has done his 2nd contest prep. If you do not know what I mean, he diets extremely and works out constantly. This makes him reclusive and irritable and with no sex drive at all. He has been very distant but I chalked it all up to the prep. He finished his contest about 1 week after my 3rd miscarriage which happened about 2 weeks ago.
The other day I came home for lunch and he told me we needed to talk. He said he was moving out and that he had felt this way forr a long time. He said it was not the prep that made him so distant but his loss of "Being in love" with me.
We have gone through rough patches and have temporarily separated before (days).
I told him when we got married that I was in this for better or worse. The miscarriages and prep have definItely fallen in the worse category.
I have been extremely depressed since the 2nd miscarriage and the 3rd was even worse. He offered me no consolation during the process and again I thought it was the prep. We have been trying to have a baby for over a year.
When he announced that he was filing for divorce, I was completely shocked.
I have a generalized anxiety disorder and adult ADHD. He does not like me to be medicated, and with the pregnancies I agreed.
I have been awake for days with maybe 2 hours of sleep. I haven't eaten anything other than crackers and only had water and tea. According to the scale, I have lost around 5-7 pounds. I am not complaining about losing weight but I don't think I can close my eyes. The sleep I have received in the past days has been very forced, or either an accident (I woke up sitting on my couch without realizing I had even closed my eyes. I honestly think I may have passed out.) When I have awoken from these "naps", I feel an instant rush of terror and rerealiztion that all of this is indeed real and happening to me / us.
I have seen a therapist that I trust very much. The first session was today and my husband was invited to come if he wanted to save the marriage. He didn't show.
Basically, I have had all the signs throughout our marriage but we have both clinging to something that wasn't there. Our desire for one another has been there from day 1. Lately he has wanted me less, again chalked up to the prep.
My whole life for the past 10 years has revolved around him and our life together. I have never imagined myself as not being his wife.
I think I understand what happened, but I am having a very hard time getting through this. He won't talk to me so I have no insight into there ever being a reconciliation or closure (besides the papers). Is there anything I can say to make him open up to me? I am very rational and composed (for the most part.) I have told him that I am seeing the therapist without him and that I am always here to talk. I completely want to respect his space and have attempted minimal contact (maybe2 texts and I email). Is there anything else can I say?
The other day I came home for lunch and he told me we needed to talk. He said he was moving out and that he had felt this way forr a long time. He said it was not the prep that made him so distant but his loss of "Being in love" with me.
We have gone through rough patches and have temporarily separated before (days).
I told him when we got married that I was in this for better or worse. The miscarriages and prep have definItely fallen in the worse category.
I have been extremely depressed since the 2nd miscarriage and the 3rd was even worse. He offered me no consolation during the process and again I thought it was the prep. We have been trying to have a baby for over a year.
When he announced that he was filing for divorce, I was completely shocked.
I have a generalized anxiety disorder and adult ADHD. He does not like me to be medicated, and with the pregnancies I agreed.
I have been awake for days with maybe 2 hours of sleep. I haven't eaten anything other than crackers and only had water and tea. According to the scale, I have lost around 5-7 pounds. I am not complaining about losing weight but I don't think I can close my eyes. The sleep I have received in the past days has been very forced, or either an accident (I woke up sitting on my couch without realizing I had even closed my eyes. I honestly think I may have passed out.) When I have awoken from these "naps", I feel an instant rush of terror and rerealiztion that all of this is indeed real and happening to me / us.
I have seen a therapist that I trust very much. The first session was today and my husband was invited to come if he wanted to save the marriage. He didn't show.
Basically, I have had all the signs throughout our marriage but we have both clinging to something that wasn't there. Our desire for one another has been there from day 1. Lately he has wanted me less, again chalked up to the prep.
My whole life for the past 10 years has revolved around him and our life together. I have never imagined myself as not being his wife.
I think I understand what happened, but I am having a very hard time getting through this. He won't talk to me so I have no insight into there ever being a reconciliation or closure (besides the papers). Is there anything I can say to make him open up to me? I am very rational and composed (for the most part.) I have told him that I am seeing the therapist without him and that I am always here to talk. I completely want to respect his space and have attempted minimal contact (maybe2 texts and I email). Is there anything else can I say?
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