I've been making a point of trying to plan more nights for just the two of us lately since most of our time is work or our daughter. It's expensive -- sometimes the babysitter doubles the cost of a night out, but I've been biting the bullet and doing it anyway.
But somehow I feel like they're not going right. We have this buzzkilling dynamic we get into, it's definitely both of us. Example -- recently she really wanted to go to this one particular trendy rooftop bar, and I thought that sounded nice -- what could be bad about drinking on a rooftop on a summer night, etc. So we get there and it turns out it's gay pride night or something, and there's a cover charge too. So I kind of hesitated -- I don't think I'm homophobic or anything but that just doesn't sound like the atmosphere I'm gonna feel relaxed in. But she says "well do you have a better idea?" and the fact is I don't, even though we're in a neighborhood with a bunch of places, I just don't know the good spots anymore, plus I'm put on the spot now and I feel like if I choose something that turns out not to be fun, she's going to blame it on me all night.
So we go in, and to be honest it wasn't that crazy, pretty subdued, but at the same time I'm not totally relaxed, because I feel a little out of place. We have a couple drinks, she gets tipsy pretty fast, and now she wants to dance. Now I have no problem dancing -- when other people are dancing. But no one's dancing! And we're at a gay pride party and we're straight. So I just don't feel it. But when I don't want to dance, I feel like she takes it personally. So we leave shortly after, and it's a nice night to walk around, but she gets "tired" all of a sudden and just wants to go home. A bunch of money dropped, not much fun had.
Some of it might be our age. Some of it might be our choice of activity -- tbh I never liked going to a bar as a solo couple all that much. Bars seem like they're for large group socializing or picking people up. Maybe we need a new activity together. Thoughts?
But somehow I feel like they're not going right. We have this buzzkilling dynamic we get into, it's definitely both of us. Example -- recently she really wanted to go to this one particular trendy rooftop bar, and I thought that sounded nice -- what could be bad about drinking on a rooftop on a summer night, etc. So we get there and it turns out it's gay pride night or something, and there's a cover charge too. So I kind of hesitated -- I don't think I'm homophobic or anything but that just doesn't sound like the atmosphere I'm gonna feel relaxed in. But she says "well do you have a better idea?" and the fact is I don't, even though we're in a neighborhood with a bunch of places, I just don't know the good spots anymore, plus I'm put on the spot now and I feel like if I choose something that turns out not to be fun, she's going to blame it on me all night.
So we go in, and to be honest it wasn't that crazy, pretty subdued, but at the same time I'm not totally relaxed, because I feel a little out of place. We have a couple drinks, she gets tipsy pretty fast, and now she wants to dance. Now I have no problem dancing -- when other people are dancing. But no one's dancing! And we're at a gay pride party and we're straight. So I just don't feel it. But when I don't want to dance, I feel like she takes it personally. So we leave shortly after, and it's a nice night to walk around, but she gets "tired" all of a sudden and just wants to go home. A bunch of money dropped, not much fun had.
Some of it might be our age. Some of it might be our choice of activity -- tbh I never liked going to a bar as a solo couple all that much. Bars seem like they're for large group socializing or picking people up. Maybe we need a new activity together. Thoughts?
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