I have visited this sight many times hoping to find those who are in the same shoes as myself and have found the nerve to finally join and prepped myself for the negative and positive feed back, so here it goes!
For the past 6 years I have been dealing with a poor sexual relationship with my spouse. My spouse is very LD and I am very HD. My spouse is a great guy, supportive, caring, loving, funny over all besides the sex our relationship is great. Its like my spouse doesn't have a sex drive, there have been many accounts that I have approached him or made advances to only get rejected. If he does finally give in to my advances it's either I have complained or made out with him for an hour. And when he gives in, he lays there and does nothing and I just give up cause there is no passion, spark or any kind of desire at all.
I cant count how many times I have told him how much it bothers me that he makes no effort to fix our lack of a sex life. He keeps telling me over and over again he listens to me and hears what I say but doesn't show any effort in doing a thing to fix it. I bought the book "sexless marriage" and we read it together and a number of times I cried through that book cause it described exactly how I felt and gave me a little insight to how he is. We talked about it..but as many, many times before things get better and then die off. Its a repeating circle that I don't think I can take anymore. I have moved to the other room to try to show him I was serious, brought up separating only to have him in tears begging me to stay. I do only hoping things will change and they never do.
I put myself in counseling cause I thought there was a problem with me or something I was doing wrong so I could fix it. I stopped counseling after 9 months cause all I did was consistently talk about how my spouse seems he has no desire to touch me, make love to me, he would be much happier with us sitting on the couch watching ESPN rather then making love. There have been times I have wore lingerie to have him ask why I am wearing it, I will go to bed naked or in something sexy to get no response or any form of advance's unless I make them.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I know in marriage you have to take the good with the bad, but I didn't sign up for a roommate relationship either! I have accepted things wont change no matter what I do or what I try.
I don't get compliments from him, I told him its very hard to be sexy or even beautiful for him when he never says anything.
Im so torn, he grew up in a family where compliments were assumed, no love shared and communication was nill to non so I know that has something to do with his lack of communication and other things I have mentioned. He refuses counseling and doesn't think anything is wrong till I talk to him about it. Its almost come to be a daily conversation, where I repeat myself and he just listens! I love the man with all my heart and would hate to let this marriage go cause like I said our relationship is great but the part I crave the most..intimacy, passion, spark just isn't there...! Help!
For the past 6 years I have been dealing with a poor sexual relationship with my spouse. My spouse is very LD and I am very HD. My spouse is a great guy, supportive, caring, loving, funny over all besides the sex our relationship is great. Its like my spouse doesn't have a sex drive, there have been many accounts that I have approached him or made advances to only get rejected. If he does finally give in to my advances it's either I have complained or made out with him for an hour. And when he gives in, he lays there and does nothing and I just give up cause there is no passion, spark or any kind of desire at all.
I cant count how many times I have told him how much it bothers me that he makes no effort to fix our lack of a sex life. He keeps telling me over and over again he listens to me and hears what I say but doesn't show any effort in doing a thing to fix it. I bought the book "sexless marriage" and we read it together and a number of times I cried through that book cause it described exactly how I felt and gave me a little insight to how he is. We talked about it..but as many, many times before things get better and then die off. Its a repeating circle that I don't think I can take anymore. I have moved to the other room to try to show him I was serious, brought up separating only to have him in tears begging me to stay. I do only hoping things will change and they never do.
I put myself in counseling cause I thought there was a problem with me or something I was doing wrong so I could fix it. I stopped counseling after 9 months cause all I did was consistently talk about how my spouse seems he has no desire to touch me, make love to me, he would be much happier with us sitting on the couch watching ESPN rather then making love. There have been times I have wore lingerie to have him ask why I am wearing it, I will go to bed naked or in something sexy to get no response or any form of advance's unless I make them.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I know in marriage you have to take the good with the bad, but I didn't sign up for a roommate relationship either! I have accepted things wont change no matter what I do or what I try.
I don't get compliments from him, I told him its very hard to be sexy or even beautiful for him when he never says anything.
Im so torn, he grew up in a family where compliments were assumed, no love shared and communication was nill to non so I know that has something to do with his lack of communication and other things I have mentioned. He refuses counseling and doesn't think anything is wrong till I talk to him about it. Its almost come to be a daily conversation, where I repeat myself and he just listens! I love the man with all my heart and would hate to let this marriage go cause like I said our relationship is great but the part I crave the most..intimacy, passion, spark just isn't there...! Help!
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