Married: one year
Age: 24
I am naturally a giver, but in order to make a successful relationship, the partner needs to give too. My husband's job is stressful, and even though I have a full-time job too, I cook, clean, and take care of the dogs to make his life easier (he had gotten upset about the "chores" that need to be done, so he wanted to hire a maid...yeah right). Here are my issues...
1) I feel stupid around him. He's an extremely intelligent man who talks about philosophy, economics, sociology... unfortunately, I do not have the background in those fields, so I cannot always contribute to conversations. Or, I have to ask him to rephrase questions or comments several times in one conversation. I can tell he gets tired of it, and often he just says "nevermind" and walks away. I try and get him to keep up the subject, but it doesn't work.
2) I found porn on the computer. I asked him about it, to which he replied "I like a variety of women. I watch porn because I think it's fun." Also, he says he fantasizes about other women and wonders what it would have been like if him and his ex-girlfriend worked out. Essentially, he still thinks and wonders about his "ex" (really just a summer fling).
3) We had talked about having kids before we got married, and after, then he surprises me one day by saying he never wanted kids and I "misunderstood" him.
4) He doesn't think I'm "authentic" or that I have any interests...which I do (painting, reading, movies, English, etc.).
It's like he wants me to be him. But I'm not him. I constantly give and give and give. I am always the one to compromise. He gets tired of me compromising, but he doesn't really try to help the situation. I'm tired of feeling this way and I'm tired of the tears. I'm hurt, and I need some advice.
Age: 24
I am naturally a giver, but in order to make a successful relationship, the partner needs to give too. My husband's job is stressful, and even though I have a full-time job too, I cook, clean, and take care of the dogs to make his life easier (he had gotten upset about the "chores" that need to be done, so he wanted to hire a maid...yeah right). Here are my issues...
1) I feel stupid around him. He's an extremely intelligent man who talks about philosophy, economics, sociology... unfortunately, I do not have the background in those fields, so I cannot always contribute to conversations. Or, I have to ask him to rephrase questions or comments several times in one conversation. I can tell he gets tired of it, and often he just says "nevermind" and walks away. I try and get him to keep up the subject, but it doesn't work.
2) I found porn on the computer. I asked him about it, to which he replied "I like a variety of women. I watch porn because I think it's fun." Also, he says he fantasizes about other women and wonders what it would have been like if him and his ex-girlfriend worked out. Essentially, he still thinks and wonders about his "ex" (really just a summer fling).
3) We had talked about having kids before we got married, and after, then he surprises me one day by saying he never wanted kids and I "misunderstood" him.
4) He doesn't think I'm "authentic" or that I have any interests...which I do (painting, reading, movies, English, etc.).
It's like he wants me to be him. But I'm not him. I constantly give and give and give. I am always the one to compromise. He gets tired of me compromising, but he doesn't really try to help the situation. I'm tired of feeling this way and I'm tired of the tears. I'm hurt, and I need some advice.
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