My wife is a Csa victim at the hands of another woman. I only discovered this a couple years ago after being married for 10 years. It was no surprise as if always suspected something traumatic happened to my wife. It wasn't that hard to figure out as she is extremely sexually repressed, never ever ever initiates always leaving me to do the work which would generally require about 10 attempts before she sort of gives in, rolls over and just sort of checks out during sex. For me this really makes for an unfulfilling sex life. Although there have been bouts of good times it's still very challenging to always be the initiator. If I don't have the energy to put 110% into any romantic encounter I'm left feeling like a dog trying to get off leaving me feeling like a primate. Recently I've not had the energy to put into making everything perfect and frankly this year completely sucks. Let's call it like it is - a sexless year...again.
I do know that my wife was as a child, taken advantage of by another grown women. I'm wondering if any women here can shed light on such an experience. I wonder how it affects the victim. I specifically wonder how it affects the victim's perspective on ex in general as well as homosexuality. I wonder of such an experience can cause a women to become more prone to lesbian fantasies. I ask that because I often have wondered if my wife is in fact gay. She takes huge interest in gay rights so much so that she has volunteered time with gay organizations, is nearly obsessed with any television program concerning gay culture, gay lifestyle etc and sometimes insists one of our kids is gay. The most compelling reason for me to believe / wonder this is a vacation we took some time ago where we were in a jacuzzi in a hotel room, I flicked through the tv channels then arrived at one of those hotel porn channels which happened to have a lesbian scene on. For kick, I left or on for a few minutes as I can honestly say, I have never seen her become so aroused, within minutes we we going at it. At the time it didn't really phase me as I was just happy to be engaged with my wife, however it's always haunted me and made me wonder if the thoughts I've always suspected are actually true.
Could it be that my wife is gay, has always been so and is just living a life of shame due to her childhood experiences? I seriously would not be surprised. Her personality generally speaking is that of a very assertive person which, when juxtaposed against her sexual expressions seems very much a mismatch. Anyone would assume upon first meeting her that in concert with her general personality would be very assertive and outspoken from a sexual perspective when I fact her sexuality is like a jealously guarded safety lockbox. I sometimes think it's a miracle she actually has sex with me.
With that said, I am really reaching the end of my ropes. I so do not want to continue a lifestyle of begging and looking forward to 20 minutes a quarter of sticking it into a warm hole (which is how it feels). Perhaps I'm better off finding a group dedicated to this subject but thought here would be a good starting point. Tia !
Posted via Mobile Device
I do know that my wife was as a child, taken advantage of by another grown women. I'm wondering if any women here can shed light on such an experience. I wonder how it affects the victim. I specifically wonder how it affects the victim's perspective on ex in general as well as homosexuality. I wonder of such an experience can cause a women to become more prone to lesbian fantasies. I ask that because I often have wondered if my wife is in fact gay. She takes huge interest in gay rights so much so that she has volunteered time with gay organizations, is nearly obsessed with any television program concerning gay culture, gay lifestyle etc and sometimes insists one of our kids is gay. The most compelling reason for me to believe / wonder this is a vacation we took some time ago where we were in a jacuzzi in a hotel room, I flicked through the tv channels then arrived at one of those hotel porn channels which happened to have a lesbian scene on. For kick, I left or on for a few minutes as I can honestly say, I have never seen her become so aroused, within minutes we we going at it. At the time it didn't really phase me as I was just happy to be engaged with my wife, however it's always haunted me and made me wonder if the thoughts I've always suspected are actually true.
Could it be that my wife is gay, has always been so and is just living a life of shame due to her childhood experiences? I seriously would not be surprised. Her personality generally speaking is that of a very assertive person which, when juxtaposed against her sexual expressions seems very much a mismatch. Anyone would assume upon first meeting her that in concert with her general personality would be very assertive and outspoken from a sexual perspective when I fact her sexuality is like a jealously guarded safety lockbox. I sometimes think it's a miracle she actually has sex with me.
With that said, I am really reaching the end of my ropes. I so do not want to continue a lifestyle of begging and looking forward to 20 minutes a quarter of sticking it into a warm hole (which is how it feels). Perhaps I'm better off finding a group dedicated to this subject but thought here would be a good starting point. Tia !
Posted via Mobile Device
Put the internet to work for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment